Decline after caregiver?

MissOldMom · October 20

Mom lives with us and has for about a year and a half, but we had a daily caregiver (8 hours a day) coming for a little over 2 months to help with Mom after she had fallen late July of this year. It was usually the same person M-F and then another person who came for the weekends. Both ladies were awesome, and of course Mom got pretty attached to them. But the goal of getting her to be able to do for herself (get on/off the potty on her own, make her own breakfast and lunch which is the exact same thing daily and always was even before moving in with us and that’s fine, being able to pick out her clothes and dress herself, all of that) had been met weeks ago, and there truly just wasn’t a reason to continue to pay them for basically doing nothing but being companions. Someone else needs them more, believe me. But we have definitely seen Mom look kind of down/depressed now that she doesn’t have a constant companion for the day. She refused to go to a living facility and we did agree for her to live out her life with us in our house. Unless we have to lift her or bathe her ourselves, etc., that’s what we plan to do. But I am concerned there may be a shift in cognitive decline due to the “norm“ from the last 2 months to being lonely now and lead to depression. Has anyone had anything similar happen where the parent had constant entertainment or someone to talk to and then that stopped and they went downhill?

SDianeL · October 21

Difficult to know if it’s that or just normal progression. Could you do part time companion to see if that helps her?

H1235 · October 21

My mom would wear her pjs and robe all day when she was home alone. She was board and had no reason to get dressed. All she did was watch tv all day. When we moved her to Al she was mad. But she made friends and participated an activities. She just seemed better and more confident. She would have never gone if we hadn’t forced her.

MissOldMom · October 21

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/256546#Comment_256546

we might be able to do a part time companion but I do know that if I can’t convince her it’s for medical reasons she won’t agree and will fight it (she’s done that before). She’s in that stage of still cognizant enough to be mad if we make her decisions for her but can’t exactly make the best ones for herself. Strange thing to say, but if she were further along in the stages, I think she’d completely agree. One thing she’s always said is she doesn’t really to live much longer and says this isn’t really living. It’s just existing (she can’t remember do very little now outside the house since the fall and gets exhausted even for one hour of church). As time goes on, bringing someone in part time would probably work. But I can’t even get the Sunday school ladies to come visit and they are all about that kind of thing (she is not abusive or rude, believe me, I just don’t know why they don’t come as they are all widowed and retired). Anyway, mostly venting about that. Just wondered if that kind of “no one else around to talk to” issue might cause her to fall further into cognitive decline.

Btw my husband works from home and is with her all day within 10 feet of her where she can see him. Of course he can’t entertain her all day. She watched tv and plays a card game on her phone and gets sad if no one calls her (but can’t remember that she can call THEM if she wants to talk).

So just watching to see if this ends up being something to set her back, so to speak.

Decline after caregiver?

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