Can't remember my DW pre-dementia

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. Your path was almost exactly the same timing as my dear wife. She left us in August after being officially diagnosed with MCI about 8+ years ago. I struggle with the same challenge as you, I cannot retain our good memories pre AD. I keep photos of her taken when times were good around to remind me, I look through photos of previous vacations, concerts, etc. to try to keep those good times in my mind but I always drift back to her time in the latter stages of her life. Her horrible struggle is so implanted in my mind that I only hope time will allow it to begin to release me some and I can begin to recall the good times. I hope you too find that comes for you because that is who they were. What we saw and recall now I like to think of as the disease, not my wife. Prayers to you for relief.