Tired and Sad

Biggles · October 25

I thought I was handling things quite well. But short of sleep for the last couple of nights then this morning started at 5.30 with DH saying come on get up, I mumble back, 6 o’clock is get up time and then we’ll have a cup of tea. DH was agitated thinking we had a doctors appointment and we had to get ready. It’s Saturday and I just went from bad to worse I tried so hard to stay buoyant, I did some gardening, I did some sewing, and then I had a phone call from our son. He’s so lovely we live 1500kl away he visits when he can, but I could hear in his voice a slight impatience when he spoke to his Dad. DH’s aphasia is very bad now and it’s hard, no real conversation anymore. When our Son rang off I just fell apart, alone outside so DH couldn’t hear or see but I felt so miserable, fed up with this whole thing. We’ve now got through the day, struggled through dinner, I have to help my DH get food into his mouth, I’ve taken the dog for a quick 20minute walk and my DH is asleep on the couch next to me. I’m so pleased I have this site that I can vent to. Thankyou to anyone who bothers to read and respond. Another day finished perhaps tomorrow will be better.

Bailey's Mom · October 25

It is very hard to right the ship when your day starts out that way…so sorry. Lack of sleep makes it even harder to cope. Ugh…

jgreen · October 25

Hi Biggles!
I think, like you, the lack of sleep is the thing I have the hardest time with. When running on adrenaline, there is little left for patience or tenderness. I find myself short, angry, teary, and reactive rather than proactive. And like you, I find a way to have a moment alone where I can cry and do a bit of ‘self-talk’ so I can get back to business.
I like your attitude of looking for a better tomorrow. We need to look for those snippets of good and cherish those moments. I am sending you hugs and prayers.

RetiredTeacher · October 25

Biggest, I get you. Lack of sleep is the hardest. No patience, no empathy, frustration is magnified and normally kind people become the opposite. I'm sorry you are experiencing this but i/we truly understand. So many of us living with a LO with this dreaded disease..…and wondering when it will be over. I am glad you got out with your dog. That always helps my state of mind, even if it is just a short respite.

Maru · October 25

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/74447/tired-and-sad

Being short of sleep is the worst way to operate. You have a heavy burden and you have earned all the feelings that you have. I'd venture to say that most caretakers have a pity party at some time or other, feel overwhelmed, guilty, resentful, hopeless…and, then we get up the next day and do what we have to do, regardless. You are a hero.

wose · October 25

Right there with you. 3 or 4 hours of sleep each nite… just not enough. You are such a strong, loving and kind caregiver. Your posts reflect that. I don’t have any answers, just a valid observation that you are awesome and I wish for you some calm and serene moments💜

Scooterr · October 25

Your right Biggles, we always hope, "perhaps tomorrow will be better."

Karen711 · October 25

Biggles- I get it and sending you a hug!! Lack of sleep makes EVERY SINGLE THING more difficult- all internal resources are down the drain, and every need, demand, request from our LO hits like a threat to our very existence. At least that’s how it can feel to me. When we’re rested we have a chance to meet daily challenges with resilience and compassion. We don’t always have much control over our sleep, bit we can try. Fight for your sleep as best you can, as though your life depends on it!
Mathew Walker , is Director of Center for Human Sleep Science at UC Berkeley and has some fun TED Talks and u-tubes available, and of course and a book or two.
sending Love and 💤s!

Karen

CindyBum · October 25

Big hug, Biggles, and hoping tomorrow is a quiet, lazy day.

trottingalong · October 25

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/74447/tired-and-sad

oh Biggles, I truly hope tomorrow is a better day. Lack of sleep can really affect me, I know. You had your hands full today.

Chance Rider · October 25

Sending big hugs, Biggles, and hopes that you have a better day tomorrow.

annie51 · October 25

Hope you can make up some of that sleep and have a peaceful Sunday. Sending hugs!

Biggles · October 26

Thank you so much for the hugs and kind words of encouragement when I was feeling so down. I did get a modicum of extra sleep and the next day brought our daughter and family here for a Sunday cuppa plus a trailer load of mulch for the garden duly spread by our son-in-law and grandchildren. An absolute plus and a ray of sunshine in this crappy situation.

persevere · October 27

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/74447/tired-and-sad

The part where you say ‘got through another day, struggled through dinner’ really just sums it up doesn’t it. I’ve started to try to look at this as a job or like a second career. I got up at 5:30am every workday more or less for 40 years and went to a medium to high stress level job. Now I’m continuing it into retirement. But I’m finding lately that the more I empathize and love on my DW the better I feel and I think she does too. Now, when things get really rough I just hug her. I just put her on hospice and that is making it even more real than it’s been. Hang in there Biggles. We’re all in this together.

Biggles · October 27

thankyou

SSmith1182 · October 27

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/74447/tired-and-sad

I am right there with you. My DH is getting harder and harder to handle. I know you try. Keep the faith

Timmyd · October 27

I was thinking that being an effective caregiver for PWD requires a special kind of optimism. Given everything we know about what we are up against and where the disease will take us, often the only thing that keeps us going is the hope that perhaps tomorrow will be better.

“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so.”
— Noam Chomsky

Tired and Sad

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