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Tired and Sad

Biggles
Biggles Member Posts: 616
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in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

I thought I was handling things quite well. But short of sleep for the last couple of nights then this morning started at 5.30 with DH saying come on get up, I mumble back, 6 o’clock is get up time and then we’ll have a cup of tea. DH was agitated thinking we had a doctors appointment and we had to get ready. It’s Saturday and I just went from bad to worse I tried so hard to stay buoyant, I did some gardening, I did some sewing, and then I had a phone call from our son. He’s so lovely we live 1500kl away he visits when he can, but I could hear in his voice a slight impatience when he spoke to his Dad. DH’s aphasia is very bad now and it’s hard, no real conversation anymore. When our Son rang off I just fell apart, alone outside so DH couldn’t hear or see but I felt so miserable, fed up with this whole thing. We’ve now got through the day, struggled through dinner, I have to help my DH get food into his mouth, I’ve taken the dog for a quick 20minute walk and my DH is asleep on the couch next to me. I’m so pleased I have this site that I can vent to. Thankyou to anyone who bothers to read and respond. Another day finished perhaps tomorrow will be better.

Comments

  • wose
    wose Member Posts: 302
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    Right there with you. 3 or 4 hours of sleep each nite… just not enough. You are such a strong, loving and kind caregiver. Your posts reflect that. I don’t have any answers, just a valid observation that you are awesome and I wish for you some calm and serene moments💜

  • Scooterr
    Scooterr Member Posts: 215
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    Your right Biggles, we always hope, "perhaps tomorrow will be better."

  • Karen711
    Karen711 Member Posts: 210
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    Biggles- I get it and sending you a hug!! Lack of sleep makes EVERY SINGLE THING more difficult- all internal resources are down the drain, and every need, demand, request from our LO hits like a threat to our very existence. At least that’s how it can feel to me. When we’re rested we have a chance to meet daily challenges with resilience and compassion. We don’t always have much control over our sleep, bit we can try. Fight for your sleep as best you can, as though your life depends on it!
    Mathew Walker , is Director of Center for Human Sleep Science at UC Berkeley and has some fun TED Talks and u-tubes available, and of course and a book or two.
    sending Love and 💤s!

    Karen

  • CindyBum
    CindyBum Member Posts: 596
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    Big hug, Biggles, and hoping tomorrow is a quiet, lazy day.

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 852
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/74447/tired-and-sad

    oh Biggles, I truly hope tomorrow is a better day. Lack of sleep can really affect me, I know. You had your hands full today.

  • Chance Rider
    Chance Rider Member Posts: 135
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    edited October 26

    Sending big hugs, Biggles, and hopes that you have a better day tomorrow.

  • annie51
    annie51 Member Posts: 483
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    Hope you can make up some of that sleep and have a peaceful Sunday. Sending hugs!

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 616
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    thankyou

  • SSmith1182
    SSmith1182 Member Posts: 1
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/74447/tired-and-sad

    I am right there with you. My DH is getting harder and harder to handle. I know you try. Keep the faith

  • Timmyd
    Timmyd Member Posts: 246
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    I was thinking that being an effective caregiver for PWD requires a special kind of optimism. Given everything we know about what we are up against and where the disease will take us, often the only thing that keeps us going is the hope that perhaps tomorrow will be better.

    “Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so.” 
            — Noam Chomsky

  • Pat Slive
    Pat Slive Member Posts: 7
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/74447/tired-and-sad
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/74447/tired-and-sad
  • Pat Slive
    Pat Slive Member Posts: 7
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    I am brand new to ALZConnected, and have been learning so much from reading all your comments and questions.

    Just wanted to say to Biggles, I'm sorry that you too are sleep deprived. I am so drained by my husband's nasty moods coupled with lack of sleep that I am seriously making plans to have him move to a facility before I completely fall apart. The one think that has made me delay doing this is that his moods and sleep disruptions seem very connected to his OCD, so I'm pretty sure he will be much better after relocating. (Both the OCD and dementia have not been officially diagnosed because he avoids doctors at all costs!)

    My question: Is anyone out there dealing with someone with this sort of dual diagnosis?

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 2,665
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/257467#Comment_257467

    welcome. You are replying to a post. If you would like more responses, you can create a new post by clicking on the plus sign at the bottom of the page. My husband had OCD for years before his dementia diagnosis. Your husband’s OCD may or may not be connected to his dementia. No way to know. Dementia may make the OCD worse for awhile but there really is no way to measure that. Dementia alone can cause OCD type behaviors. Don’t delay looking into memory care. There may be waiting lists. Many PWDs do better in memory care but many don’t. You won’t know until you place him. It does take time for PWDs to settle in. The facility may recommend waiting a week or two before visiting the first time. Come here often for info and support.

  • tboard
    tboard Member Posts: 196
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/74447/tired-and-sad

    I was up at 3:00 AM because my DH got up to use the bathroom and then forgot how to get back into bed. Lucky for me he remembered how to use the toilet. I never get enough sleep. I am always on red alert.

  • Pat Slive
    Pat Slive Member Posts: 7
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/257482#Comment_257482

    Thank you so much. I am having some computer problems and have trouble even signing in, but appreciate your comments and I will follow through. Your comments on OCD confirm my thoughts. Thanks and good luck to you.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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