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Scared

DonnaJaySki
DonnaJaySki Member Posts: 2
5 Care Reactions First Comment
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in Caring For a Spouse or Partner
My wife is 54 and was just diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. I’m scared for her and myself. The changes I’ve seen in the past year now has a name. But that’s not much comfort. I think I’m still in denial. But I know I can’t stay in this place and I need this support. 👍

Comments

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 2,393
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    Member

    Welcome. So sorry about your wife’s diagnosis. You are at the right place for info and support. Meet with an Elder Care Attorney immediately to get DPOA, Medical POA, HIPPA form and wills done. Don’t delay. Read the book “The 36 Hour Day” and search online for dementia caregiving videos by Tam Cummings and Teepa Snow. Come here often to ask questions.

  • Karen711
    Karen711 Member Posts: 191
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    Member

    Welcome Donna- I’m very sorry to hear about your wife! You’ve found a good place for support, information, and venting. This is a special group!
    I started noticing signs when my wife was about 55. She’s 70 now and well into stage 5, creeping at the edges of stage 6. It has felt like an agonizingly slow progression, and I went in and out of denial for at least the first 5 years until I had to face facts. My wife has anosognosia (inability to understand she has Alzheimer’s, lack of insight the neurologists like to say) and so she’d become very angry when I began to express my concerns to her. I quickly learned I couldn’t say anything- and so it took me until last year to actually get her diagnosed. Diane and Wose have given great advice- get your legal ducks in a row right away. The information and resources you will learn about here may not always make you feel better, but it will help you navigate, and if you’re like many people here, I think you’ll feel less alone in what you’re going through. We are here! Hugs, Karen💜

  • jgreen
    jgreen Member Posts: 31
    25 Likes 10 Comments 5 Insightfuls Reactions 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    Hi Donna.

    You’ve taken a HUGE first step to join this group! As others have said above, we are glad you are here. You will find love and support, lots of knowledge and experiences, and above all prayers and validation of your emotions. I second all the good advice you’ve received.

    Prayers and hugs to you.

  • DonnaJaySki
    DonnaJaySki Member Posts: 2
    5 Care Reactions First Comment
    Member

    Thank you, all. I truly appreciate your insights and I will find an elderly care attorney right away. If I can put my mind at ease about those issues. I’ll feel a little bit more in control. ❤️

  • PlentyQuiet
    PlentyQuiet Member Posts: 129
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    Member

    Yes to getting all legal matters sorted ASAP. DH was diagnosed with MCI nov 2021 at age 60. Entered hospice june 2025. It all went so fast that I was glad to have all of the legal parts in place for selling cars etc.,. EOAD can go quickly

  • CindyBum
    CindyBum Member Posts: 549
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    Member

    I am so sorry you had to join this group, but welcome. Terribly sorry about your wife. We understand the fear. We are here for you.

  • Timmyd
    Timmyd Member Posts: 235
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    Member
    edited 2:12AM

    Hi. Welcome to the group, I am glad you have found us. My perspective is a bit different. In our case, the difficulty of all of the testing followed by the official diagnosis of EAOD at 57 years old was a huge punch in the gut. There was no way I was going from that experience to immediately meeting with an attorney and discussing advance directives and estate planning. I am not sure my wife could have handled that and I know I could not. I was monitoring decline and waited about 10 months after diagnosis before getting the legal paperwork in place. As long as my wife could sign her name and the attorney believed she understood what she was signing, then we were good.

    The advice to get legal affairs in order is very good. I had to balance that against practicalities of managing the emotional health of myself and DW in the aftermath of getting the official medical diagnosis.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

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