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eligius · October 27

I’ve been following this forum for some time now & finally figured out how to join. Having the real experts so handy with experience & suggestions is a Godsent help! My DW is 75 and been declining for about 5 years. Have to help her with about everything, but happy to do it after 51 years married. Biggest challenge us how to do anything else around the house, yard, cars, etc while keeping an eye in her. Bless you all

Maru · October 27

Welcome and sorry that you have to be here. It is very challenging to THE person who has to do everything, be everything, think for both of you, especially when you yourself are in the declining years. And, yet, somehow most of us find the strength and where with all to do what seems to be an impossible thing. So, important, find some way of finding time for doing something that will bring you some pleasure, time away from your spouse, away from the burden.

jgreen · October 27

Hi eligius, glad to read you figured out how to join us. 51 years is such a blessing for you two! Keep hold of those good memories!

I hope you have family, friends or neighbors to help you with some of those day-to-day tasks. I find that people want to help but don’t know what they can do for you. So pull together a list to have at the ready if anyone asks - like some grocery shopping, laundering a load of clothes, picking up some take-out for dinner, yard work, or just sitting with your DW so you can get away for an hour or two. Taking some of this off your shoulders will help you focus on your LO - priority #1.

And as Maru put it - you need to find those moments where you can do something for yourself so you can recharge. Take care of yourself so you can take care of DW.

Bless you. Sending hugs.

eligius · October 27

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/257079#Comment_257079

thanks, jgreen. I ordered “36 hour day” but will keep looking here for wise words from the real experts

Cardenas1816 · October 27

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this journey. If you have the NextDoor app available in your area it might be helpful to post to ask for support from your community. I've seen cases where people will come mow your lawn or help clean up when they know you're in need.

Milo4455 · October 29

This is why I hired PT 'sitter', albeit the first didn't work out (don't think DH liked him), we are fortunate that we have a new one starting tomorrow. If you can swing it, it's great to have a little time to get things taken care of, nap, read a book, or just zone out. Plus, the best part, it allows someone else to be the 'nagger' with PT exercises, and such (everything he hates). Also gives everyone another body to talk to.

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