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Desperate for Help

mialv4489
mialv4489 Member Posts: 1 New
in Caring Long Distance
My mom has been recently diagnosed with rapidly progressive Alzheimer’s. She lives in Louisiana with my brother and SIL and I live in Maryland. Any tips or suggestions on caring for her from afar? Because I’m really close to having her come to meet me up here.

Comments

  • towhee
    towhee Member Posts: 590
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Likes 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Hello and welcome to the discussion boards. This particular board does not get much traffic, so you might want to repost on the Caring for a Parent board.

    Emotionally, this is hard I know, and you want to be close to your mom. But you do need to gain a little info and take stock of the situation in order to do what is best for your mom. Usually we say that supporting the caregiver "on the ground" is the best way for the long distance caregiver to help. That might be financially, gathering information on services, or providing respite care whenever possible, as well as phone calls, cards, zoom etc. or even occasional long distance monitoring.

    As to that diagnosis, you can say that Alzheimers has progressed rapidly, but I do not know of any way to tell that it will continue to do so. For a basic understanding of the disease and what is necessary to care for persons with it I suggest that you read or listen to The 36 Hour Day.

    Think about who has DPOA and HPOA for your mom. Is Louisiana her home, has she been living with her son long, has she been happy there, do you have concerns about her care or financial mismanagement?

    I wish you well, please keep posting, do not be discouraged if you do not get quick answers, this can at times be a slow board.

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 1,327
    500 Likes 1000 Comments 250 Care Reactions 250 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Welcome. I will attach some resources that may be helpful. I would encourage you to learn all you can about dementia. You will need information to make the best decisions for your mom. Does someone have a durable power of attorney. If not don’t wait, it’s important! If you are the one with DPOA she should be near you. I’m confused why you might want her to come to you. Are you concerned about the level of care she is receiving? Is she actually living with your brother or just living in the same area? It probably won’t be long and she will need 24/7 supervision. Do you and your brother have a plan for this. If a facility is the plan you should keep in mind that some have a waiting list to get in. It’s best to plan ahead.

    DBAT.pdf

    https://www.alzinfo.org/understand-alzheimers/clinical-stages-of-alzheimers/

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

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