How to Help My Sister Have Access to Spending Money

Aunt K · November 7

My sister is in mid-stage Alzheimer's and lives in an assisted living community. They take day trips to Krogers and other places and she enjoys buying things for herself. She used to be able to manage a debit card, but has lost it several times and can't remember her pin. She now believes we are withholding money from her. We don't want to give her cash because she will lose it or it can easily be stolen. Does anyone have creative solutions on how to give her access to some spending money? We welcome ideas that may have worked for you and your family member with dementia. Thank you!

JulietteBee · November 7

My mom is my pwd. On advice received here, I took over sole possession of her debit card.

She lives in an IL facility, and like your mom, she enjoys going out on the bus when they go shopping.

I left her credit card with her. It was advised that the credit limit on her credit card be decreased. I have not gotten around to doing that as yet. However, I do get txt notifications of any & all spending.

H1235 · November 7

Welcome. Moms Al had an account I could put money in that would allow her to get her hair done and make small purchases. Even with that she is often angry about not having money. She is in a nursing home now, but didn’t want to give me her pop cans to return unless I am willing to give her the money. In addition to losing the money I also never know what she might buy. She is a hoarder and lacks good judgment. Her room is extremely small so the space these crazy purchases take up is also a problem. Early on I gave her $20 and I have been giving he the pop can money if she remembers to ask for it. She just asked me to bring her bank statements(I won’t). For the most part she is just always mad at me about money. It stinks! I have heard some people give their lo a preloaded credit card with a limited amount.

JulietteBee · November 7

@H1235, she wants her bank statements??? That is wild!😯

I know my mom remembers her banks but she has finally stopped asking me to log in so she can check her balance.

SDianeL · November 7

unfortunately as the disease progresses you must take control of finances and debit cards. You could get a low limit credit card that doesn’t require a pin but she will probably lose that too. She is also vulnerable for scams. Can you hire someone to go shopping with her to assist with paying? If she is in mid stages, you may consider moving her to MC. In AL she could leave her apartment and wander off. Also the caregivers in MC are better trained to care for PWDs.

Quilting brings calm · November 7

Ask the AL if you can leave small amounts of cash at the front desk to be used by the staff to pay for her items when she is transported to the store. Or buy prepaid Visa cards to be used for this same purpose. Or can the AL purchase her items and add it to her monthly bill?

How to Help My Sister Have Access to Spending Money

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