Incontinence?

My mom has VD and ALZ.

For a while, I would say she would go to the bathroom frequently, wear pads, and we kind of determined this was because she was afraid of having an accident and having trouble really determining a full bladder.

And while she still holds her bladder, she seems unable to know if she needs to go #2, or if she's going. Sometimes and frequently out, she will think she's going in her pants… sometimes it's gas. Other times she has to go. Has anyone had a parent with this issue? It's hard because while she's in MC, we have been taking her out for outings, but it's getting more difficult with bathroom issues. She's started putting her hand down the back of her pants to see if she's going - unable to tell. And she has a lot of extreme anxiety around going #2 in particular. Crying and wailing and just doesn't want to go #2 anymore.

It's gotten to the point that I have a "diaper bag" with me when we do go out, as I need to help her and check to see if she's going or done - she doesn't know. And then help her clean herself. Which I am willing to still do, as she loves to get out and run errands, etc. with me. Also, she has started wearing depends and she likes wearing them. I am not aware that she's just gone to the bathroom in them just yet, except for an accident when she didn't make it to the bathroom, which is of course what they are for.

I know this is all TMI, but I haven't found anyone else dealing with this and just looking for some insight if it's normal or suggestions? And how to deal with her extreme distress over going #2 at all..