Just when you think your loved one is no longer able to understand....

Palmetto Peg · November 8

My DH is nearing the end of his journey. He has difficulty swallowing and is losing weight quickly. His speech is usually slurred, and he can't hold any kind of conversation. When I am feeding him, I remind him to swallow (or else he starts coughing violently) but I try to keep it light and smile a lot so he doesn't think I am angry with him. Last night I was coaxing him along, smiling away, and he looked right at me and said "Your smile is sad". Of course I began crying…………..and I try so hard not to cry in front of him. There is still this little spark of who he was and what we had, and I am so afraid of losing him. Just wanted to share my experience - I think some of their spirit is there right up to the end. I will hold that memory dear to my heart forever, even after he is gone. Hugs to all of us on this sad journey!

Maru · November 8

Hugs and prayers.

Kat63 · November 8

Aww. Thanks for sharing that moment with us. I understand holding on to that memory. ((HUGS))

CindyBum · November 8

What a moment. Big hugs.

I agree. My DW is in Stage 6 and her spirit is till with us.

wose · November 8

Wow, how they still know us through it all. It make me cry beautiful tears💕💜

Biggles · November 9

The gentleness, the love and care I hear it in your post, the tears that fall, I know them too. The fear and loneliness of a future without our LO is almost unbearable. 🫶🏻💕

Jgirl57 · November 9

(((HUGS)))

SDianeL · November 9

My husband knew I was someone he loved and someone who loved him until the end. He wasn’t communicating at all for weeks. One day I patted his arm and told him I loved him and he turned and looked me in the eyes and clearly said “I love you too Babe” I will cherish those words forever. Hugs. 💜

JulietteBee · November 9

Hugs!!!🫂

howhale · November 9

When your love is strong and you are there for your loved one in the good times and bad even as they start to fail, I believe the heart will break through now and then and just command the brain to work, if only for a word or short sentence. As my dear wife was in her last days, not speaking, getting weaker, not knowing names, relationships, and declining, she would look into my eyes in a surprise moment and in her gentle voice say only "thank you for taking care of me". Days and weeks gone by with little or no recognition of me as her husband nor that she knew she was sick and then she says that. It was crushing then and is still so right now. I believe they are in there, just locked away and unable to get out except for a brief and unexpected second. In her world I cannot fathom how hard it must have been just to say those few words clearly at the right moment. Her heart fighting hard to demand her brain obey.

Karen711 · November 9

…wow, such a crushing moment. I think it’s ok that you cried. Beautiful gut wrenching description- they are still here, we are still here, a deep visceral moment only decades of love and devotion can reveal.
My small moment with this was tonight when DW (stage late 5/6) apologized for her meltdown anger-fest (nightly) when I took the dogs out to the yard to have a last pee. She thinks they should pee in the house. Just a bit later she apologized (very unusual, like this never happens) for her outburst and I gave her a hug and told her it was ok. A little later I found her crying, I held her again and she just says- I’m ok, I’m ok.
Sending Hugs 💜

Palmetto Peg · November 9

Thank you all for your beautiful replies. We all share the love, the pain, and the wish that things had been different. I can't imagine how I will get through to the end, but for him I will do whatever it takes to be sure he knows he is loved. Hugs to all of you!

Just when you think your loved one is no longer able to understand....

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