My DH is wanting to spend every minute with me

justbreathe2 · November 9

My DH is recovering well from knee surgery. I have been caring for him and not leaving the house for 4 weeks. He gets around with a walker and I can take the dog out for a walk now. He gets mad if I am out longer talking to neighbor. Doesn’t know what to do with himself.

I looked into having a caregiver come to our house so I can get away a day or two. He does not like it.

When his personality started to change 10 years ago he stopped wanting to do things with me, friends and family. So now he is saying he wants to be a part of everything I do and have closeness with me.

He has always gone to bed early for years. I like this time to myself so I can watch a movie. He doesn’t remember that he cannot follow movies.

He says I don’t want to share life with him, or closeness and maybe we shouldn’t be together.

It is so frustrating. I feel I cannot breathe. I do not go much…just shop, or occasional lunch with friend.

Not sure what to do. It’s driving me crazy.

Jgirl57 · November 9

Wow, that must really be frustrating. Finding time for yourself is going to be tricky if he is not wanting to be without you. I have a care companion that comes once a week for 5 hours and by nighttime my DH has forgotten I was even gone that day. I only give him about a 30 minute heads up that I am going out and I usually tell him it’s a doctor appointment. I hope you are able to come up with a new plan soon. You are due for some time to yourself. I also enjoy the little bit of time once my DH goes to bed

SDianeL · November 9

we understand how you feel. You didn’t mention what stage your DH is in. If he’s in the mid stage of dementia he should no longer be left alone. It’s not safe. He could start a fire or wander off. He needs 24/7 care. Shadowing is common in dementia. It’s caused by anxiety. Have you looked into day care? Many counties have senior day care. I got my DH to accept respite caregiver by telling him it was for me to help around the house while I went to the doctor. Fib if you must. The first 2 times the caregiver came I stayed home so he could get used to her. After the second time he asked if “his lady” was coming that day. Have you read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which really helped me after my husband’s diagnosis. Respite caregiver is important for your mental and physical well being. Hope you can work something out.

My DH is wanting to spend every minute with me

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