Scared of the clarity

MarDel0917 · November 16

My bf who is 46yo (eoa/ftd) stage 7, on hospice. No end of life care (morphine, haloperidol, the usual stuff). The last few weeks we have noticed a big decline. He stopped walking a little over 2 weeks ago, food intake has been baby food, ensure and pureed food as well.

Well today his best friend came, who was just here three weeks ago. The last visit he didnt really recognize him. Well today he was a brand new man. Bf recognized his best friend, was saying words, and trying to have conversations, (darn his aphasia). The memories and smiled made today will forever be engraved in my head. Me and our roomate were teary eyed as to how bf responded. It was crazy, had i not taken video I wouldn't have believed it.

Now the part that scares me is knowing about the "surge" that can happen before they pass. If it happens I know he will be with our heavenly father and no longer in pain.

We are all in this together 💜

Arrowhead · November 16

My wife is in stage 7 and has been in memory care for over 2 years. I am not scared of her dying because I'm mostly prepared for it. Except for my hour long visits 6 days a week, I'm already living as though she was gone.

cdgbdr · November 17

@MarDel0917

You are right about the "surge" or rally that occurs. My mom did that. She had a great, fairly lucid day, the best in a long time and then passed on. Her sister had a good visit with her and she spoke on the phone with people. I hope for peace for both of you.

SDianeL · November 17

my husband hadn’t spoken for a couple of weeks before he passed except yes or no answers. One day I patted his arm and said I love you honey, and he turned to me, looked me in the eyes and said “I love you too Babe” That was the last words he ever said to me. He passed about 2 weeks later. I will cherish those words forever.

Cat K · November 17

I had heard of this "surge" happening, and then I experienced it with my father-in-law. He didn't have dementia, but after he fell and broke his hip, he wasn't the same. It changed him, I guess because of the pain. Then one summer Sunday, my husband, his daughter and my mother-in-law and father-in-law were in their back yard, enjoying watermelon. My father-in-law was cutting up, joking, and he had me and my step-daughter in stitches. The following Tuesday, he was getting ready to go vote, and he had a heart attack and died. I'll always remember that Sunday.

Scared of the clarity

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