endgame

The answer of course is you would tell her ZERO times, ABSOLUTELY NEVER. 

I am hoping this is just meant as a provocative question just to start some dialogue.

Because here at Dementia Fight Club we never try to confront out LO with the soul crushing reality of their awful fate. We try to do everything to make their final days as meaningful as possible. If they feel awful about what’s happening to them, then to at least distract them, get them medication to ease their suffering, and to keep them safe.

I tell DH that he is “getting stronger everyday” and when we measure his arm for weight loss because he can’t stand on a scale to weigh him, I tell him that he has such big muscles that we are trying to see how much his biceps have increased. He grins from ear to ear and feels so good.

That said, during particularly lucid, quiet moments, I have hugged and kissed him and told him that I will care for him until the end, that he will be home safe with me as long as I am able to care for him, and he has kissed my hand and told me that he loves me.

The answer is to tell her whatever comforts her. ‘ I’m sure you will feel better soon. ‘. If she asks what’s wrong, say that she is just having normal memory/aging issues…’nothing to worry about’.

Trying to explain ANYTHING to a PWD is not going to be productive. Learn to say whatever soothes your LO

Welcome. Learn all you can about the disease. Read the book “The 36 Hour Day” and search online for dementia caregiving videos by Tam Cummings and Teepa Snow. I never told my husband he had dementia. I just said you’re getting older then reassured him that I loved him and would be there for him always. If your wife is depressed or anxious I would talk to her doctor about medications to help her. Many people with dementia pick up on your feelings. Try to stay positive around her even though you may be crying on the inside.