Heading into the Holidays Alone

The coming holidays will be my first without my mother or Roger. It seems like there is a lot out there about navigating the holidays around family and friends, but no real advice for those of us who have neither. The usual advice about finding a community dinner to attend or volunteer at just doesn't ring true for me. And I don't want to be the cuckoo in the nest at some other family's gathering, though I have been invited to my neighbor's family Thanksgiving gathering this Saturday. I'll probably end up putting in an appearance, even though I don't really know her. She was widowed 32 years ago and feels sorry for me. I can't hurt her feelings by saying "no". At least I can retreat to my apartment when I need to cry.

Thanksgiving was always our big holiday even though it was just the two of us. It will be hard without him, since I now have no one. I plan to attend Mass in the morning, then go to the walking trail (weather permitting) or work on charity baby quilts at home. Fixing whatever I feel like for supper, but it won't be the turkey & fixings he loved so much. Christmas was not such a big deal, since he worked for the postal service in the mail sort center, and the month before Christmas was brutal; he hated Christmas. We used to go to the gym on Christmas morning! I'll probably just do the same things that I plan to do for Thanksgiving.

Guess I'm just feeling a little sorry for myself and whining.