Thankful

psg712 · November 27

On this Thanksgiving Eve, I wanted to say thanks to everyone who contributes to this forum. I continue to learn much from each person who shares here. Just the act of sharing helps each of us feel less isolated on the caregiving journey! I appreciate all of you.

Anyone want to share some caregiver-specific reasons to be thankful this holiday? Might help each other find some silver linings. I know holidays can be extra tough on this road.

I'll start: I'm thankful that an observant staff member at my mom's facility rescued her glasses when she kept leaving them in the common room and locked them in the med cart. Whew!

MoniqueV2024 · November 27

thank you for saying this. My mom passed in March after I was her primary caregiver here at home with my husband. I think I’m processing a lot this Thanksgiving, thinking about what it was like last year when I was in the weeds trying to survive. But to your point, this forum meant the world and I’m grateful for every single person on here who comes together to share and help us make feel less alone.

sending lots of love to you and your family.

SDianeL · November 27

I’m also thankful for this forum. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t found it. I felt like I was drowning and alone. I’m thankful for every person here. Thanksgiving Blessings to all. 💜

Anonymousjpl123 · November 27

I was just popping on to wish everyone a peaceful, restful holiday. I am so grateful for this forum. This forum has gotten me through. I am sad about many things it’s so good to remember the positive.

I am going to try to take my mom home for a short visit today (MC said it’s fine, they know us very well), if it’s hard we will go back. Just to give her the feeling of home. So much stress:

Breaking bank because MC made me get her a part time aid? Check.
Stressed at work all the time while caring for her? Check.
Sad she sometimes doesn’t recognize me right away? Check.
Sad most of “her” is gone at this point? Check.

But what I’m grateful for is beyond words:

My mom is getting great care
I didn’t have to quit my job to care for her (that was a possibility)
We are both safe (I'm exhausted, she’s deep into stage 6, but we are safe)
The constant chaos of early dementia is mostly over

These are the blessings. It was so hard getting here. Wishing everyone the calmest holiday possible, wherever you are in this journey.

psg712 · November 27

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/259279#Comment_259279

Peace and comfort to you in these first sad holidays without your mom. I'm not in your situation yet, but I anticipate there will also be a lot to process after my mom's struggle is over. Please take comfort in knowing you did your best for your mom while she was with you.

psg712 · November 27

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/259300#Comment_259300

Beautifully said. I can relate to most of your points. I too am planning to bring my mom to my house today - small gathering, just six of us with my sis in town - and hope that she perceives she is still a dearly loved part of our family, regardless of past history or present disability. I hope all goes well for you and your mom.

psg712 · November 27

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/259286#Comment_259286

Your insights are always a blessing! Praying for comfort and some holiday joy for you.

ARIL · November 28

I signed in this evening feeling gratitude for the people who post on this forum, and what do I find but you saying the very things I am thinking and feeling! We are not alone, for sure.

I am grateful that my dad still knows me, and I am grateful for some especially attentive staff at the facility where he lives who seem genuinely to care about him. I am thankful that the years of managing an impossible situation from hundreds of miles away are over. I am thankful that now that he is safe and nearby, I can sleep at night. I am grateful that my dad and his brother laughed on the phone this afternoon. I am grateful that I had one more Thanksgiving with my dad and that parts of it felt joyful. I am grateful that I am not obsessing over the non-joyful parts, like the relentless repetition. I am grateful for how much I have learned.

JulietteBee · November 28

Wonderful post, sorry I am late to the table.

Today, as we have been doing for the 13 years since my dad died, I had my mom over for dinner.

I am thankful I found an IL facility that is literally 1.0 mile from my driveway to their parking lot. For the almost 25 years I have lived here, I NEVER once gave that bldg a second look. I am thankful that last March my hubby suggested we drive in and see what they were all about. Six months later, after 3 tours, it became mom's permanent residence.

I am thankful for this community as well. I am thankful for all the things the "lay people" in the trenches have taught me that none of my medical books ever did.

I am thankful for my mom's strong cognitive reserves. For today, she was quite lucid and very pleasant. Even after hubby dropping her back home, she & I were able to have a 1 hour and 15 minute conversation like back in the good old days.

Lastly, after learning the difference between alzheimers and vascular dementia, I can now say that I am thankful mom has the latter. The step she is on today, may not last long, but alas, it felt like I had my mother at the dining table with us today. As my health took a turn south this afternoon after dinner, I had to return to bed. She and her grandchild were able to do the kitchen clean up together while creating yet another lifetime memory.🧡🧡🧡

I will take tomorrow in stride while relishing in the memories of today.

MissingMom · November 30

It’s a few days after Thanksgiving, but I’m thankful that my mom still knows her family. And is able to still know our names.

Thankful

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