Moved into Stage 4
DH still works Sudoku. I think he will forget my name before he fogets numbers. What has changed is the frequency of wrong word substitution, stopping mid sentance to remember what he was going to say, or stopping to try to remember what "that thing" is called. A month ago, he was having an occasional "bad day" and then 2 weeks go by without anything. Now, it is every day, although not every conversation. And, he is now starting to forget what I answered 5 minutes ago. By the questions he asks, I can tell that he is having more difficulty in keeping an accurate budget spreadsheet. (yes, I handle all the finances but the spreadsheet is his pride and joy). Furthermore, I was shocked to discover that he had thrown away several months of medical record payments. I guess I have to start checking his waste basket. Connecting the dots is becoming iffy. His recent history is mixed up.Now, I have to initiate hugs rather than he doing so. He is slipping away slowly.
Now, I can see where this is going. Perhaps I have been in some partial denial myself. In spite of making prepartions for future decline.
Comments
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my wife diagnosed about 3 yrs ago and same thing with asking same ? And forgetting answers, has trouble with coming up with right words. Sad to watch
5 -
Thank you for sharing, Meru and Charley. Your posts help me.
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Denial is common in early stages. It’s a defense mechanism to protect us from the awful truth of this terrible disease. Each new behavior is like a gut punch. Hugs. 💜
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@Maru
As I recall your DH came to dementia with considerable cognitive reserve. I feel like that can impact acceptance for spousal caregivers as the deficits might not seem so obvious at first.
HB
I hear you on the numbers thing. Dad could do serial subtraction during a MMSE as quickly as I could 6 months before he died and then 15 minutes later got into a car being driven by a woman he didn't know.5 -
I was in denial and kept trying things to make it better. I realize now for my husband there is no more learning or even remembering how to do things. I do 98 percent of everything now. It’s the exact opposite of having a child: you give children more and more responsibility and with our spouses we take away.
You will figure it out as you go. Everyone is different. It’s a rough journey. Just do your best.
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I remember only two years ago with my wife at maybe stage 3 and us going through the steps of diagnosis; I didn't want this EOA to be the truth and my stage of denial while short lived was a much needed in order to really wrap my head around where my life was about to head.
3
Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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