It's been four months since DW died
I am hanging in , mostly.
Comments
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Takes a lot of time to reconcile with grief…..
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My husband died just 11 weeks ago. ( I am still counting in weeks). He went from balance issues due to dementia and hospice and passed 2 weeks later.
I struggle every day.
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You and your wife fought this disease for almost two full decades. 4 months is like ‘the blink of an eye’. And yet you’ve been dealing with anticipatory grief for years. Whatever you are feeling or doing is exactly the right thing for you. Don’t let anyone tell you different.How are your daughters doing?
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take your time. I am finding the 2nd year harder. I was numb the first year. Hugs. 💜🙏
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That’s all anyone can hope to do. Thanks for letting us know.
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my DH died three days ago after living with Alzheimer’s for the last 8/9 years. I am grieving but I have been grieving for years as I lost a bit of him at a time. This is hard to explain to people.
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Hi Crushed, coping with grief can suck your energy. Ride it out. You can do it! And please come back here often to let us know how you're doing. I miss your quips, stories, musings…
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Keep on keeping on is all I can say. My first hubby died 26 years ago on Nov 26. I still cry like a baby every death date. We were together 31 years and it took every special occasion to get through for a solid three years for me to see it as memorable instead of painful. It’s a long journey but ever so important to go through. I was able to recover mostly, be grateful that he blessed my life and move forward.
I must say tho , this journey now about 8 or 9 years is the most difficult and painful thing I’ve ever done. I can honestly say that I should have been content in my memories and solitude, for this is one journey that I’m not sure I can survive. You did a wonderful job and you need lots of time to process and go through all those painful dates alone. You are a warrior, so be kind and gentle with yourself 💕💜10 -
So sorry for your loss. I lost my dear wife about four months ago as well and going forward is just not possible right now. This site is my salvation for now to try to survive. The section for those of us who have lost our loved one also has some good advice so check in there as well. I participate on both sections. Just come in here and "talk" whenever needed and everyone will just listen for you. The folks here understand what we are experiencing is unique to us, regardless of what others may say. Our grief path is different. Come here, unload what you need, we can take it and help you carry the burden. Let it out when needed. I thought being my wife's caregiver was the hardest thing I had ever done, but being her survivor exceeds that so much.
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Thank you for this comment. I lost my DH of 47 years in August, and am just beginning to really understand what being a survivor feels like. After years of being his sole caregiver, followed by several months at the end in MC, I was either with him or working on issues related to his care all day, every day. Even now, I get up and think I need to finish my chores and get to the MC. It still feels odd not to be going every day. Even though he didn't know me at the end, I still knew him and loved him - to not have even that shadow of him any more is beyond hard. I'm finally beginning to process losing the "real" him and our life together - I think I grieved that beloved man who needed me to take care of him first, and now I'm beginning to grieve that wonderful partner I had and that shared life we were so blessed to have for so many years.
Where is the section you mention for those of us who have lost a loved one?
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If you hover your mouse on the Discussions above to the right of the Home selection the various rooms will show up. One is Supporting Those Who Have Lost Someone.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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