What Is Looking After Yourself

So sorry for your situation and it reads much like mine did before my wife passed. I used the time before my wife was awake in the mornings until her sleep pattern changed and eliminated those windows of opportunity. I was finally able to find a couple caregivers who could work with AD patients to come a few hours to allow me time if only to sit alone and close my eyes. Just those few hours enabled me to carry on. I never did actually sleep and used the time for necessary things, groceries, bills, etc. But that little time sure helped. I hope you can find caregivers who can assist. I did have to go through a few to find ones who knew what to expect with an AD patient. Many only have useful experience with physically impaired, not mentally impaired, and those failed.

I’m just reading through posts and came upon yours. I have the exact same problem. They said I can’t get any help because my DH was “just in the Naval Air Reserves”. Like they wouldn’t have gone if they were called. It makes me so mad!

I'm a caregiver for my dad, and for a long time, looking after myself felt impossible, so I get you. In my opinion, you can never truly look after yourself, because my dad is more important in most situations. But, still, I have found some ways to not be engaged 24/7, and I am feeling better mentally since then.

I learned how to use essential oils for "olfactory anchors". I'd use a specific smell only when I am taking a break, so that now just smelling it briefly helps instantly pull me out of a caregiver mindset. Another helpful thing was using certain gadgets or devices to help me out. For example, I set up the JubileeTV box, which helps me keep an eye on him remotely without installing a surveillance system. I finally feel comfortable leaving the house without constantly worrying about him. It has some other helpful features, like setting reminders, controlling the TV remotely, and making a video call even if the TV is off. That is all helpful in case of emergencies.

Also, I discovered that I really needed to learn to delegate non-caregiving tasks to people who offered to help, like letting my friend do the grocery run or pick up the dry cleaning, so I could save my energy only for the things my dad needs me for. I am still trying to get a hold of that, since I always feel guilty about someone doing my responsibilities.