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A resource for guilt and resentment

Call me Gram
Call me Gram Member Posts: 24
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I found a resource to help myself, and anyone who struggles w/resentment and the guilt that comes with it.

As I was listening to the audiobook version of The Unexpected Journey by Emma Heming-Willis for at least the fourth time, one chapter really struck me this time… Chapter Six: Expect an Array of Emotions. In this chapter, Emma talks about the range of frustration and guilt caregivers experience, and where to go with those feelings.

I own the hard copy of the book, but I love listening to the audiobook because Emma narrates it herself, so it seems more personal and heartfelt. If you can't buy the book, you can borrow it from your public library, or try to find a half-hour to go into a bookstore and just read chapter six while you are there.

Ch6.jpg

Emma says, "What I wish I knew earlier was that a full spectrum of emotions comes with your person's diagnosis, and it's crucial to allow yourself to feel all of them."

Later, she goes on to say, "I've heard people say, 'How can you complain? What about the person this is happening to? Why don't you think about them?' Well, that's the thing: We are always thinking about them."

Emma says, "Anger doesn't make you weak, selfish, or unkind. It makes you human." She describes the therapeutic purpose for anger - that it causes us to act, that it gives us the drive we need when we feel spent.

Then, she goes on to explain that we need a space to express the feelings we have bottled up. She says to find a support group, a therapist, or a nonjudgmental friend, or try journaling.

I am so very grateful for this platform, where we can go to find people who understand our complicated situations, who can offer advice and comfort, who are facing this "unexpected journey" alongside us.

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DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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