I’ve never lived there.
Tonight my DH asked me to take him to the city he grew up in, home. He even recited his old childhood address which no longer exists.
I asked him if he ever lived in _________(the name of our town). He said no, I’ve never lived there, but I did live in Chicago for 11 yrs. I thought how sad, all the memories in our house are gone, he doesn’t even know he’s lived here. My heart breaks for him…and me. It’s getting harder and harder to remember the healthy him. I know I’m not alone and that’s what keeps me coming back here.
Comments
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You wrote, “It’s getting harder and harder to remember the healthy him” which brought tears to my eyes because I feel exactly the same way.
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Big hug
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so sorry. 🙏💜
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((HUGS))
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me too
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We struggled with the same problem with my dear wife. She wanted to "go home" which seemed to mean her childhood home. Even as I would try to help her by just listening or asking more about the location or anything I could think of to dissipate her anxiety, it often, in the early stages, did not help. She would get her driver's license (only an identity card by then) and try to use it to show me her address not realizing that is where we were at the time, our home. In the very early stages she became so insistent that we actually got in the car so she could give me directions to her home. I followed her directions until she looked at me and said she was lost and did not know where she was. It was crushing to see her panic, fear and stress as she was lost as I dove back home. It was only as we approached our home that she said with excitement "there it is, there it is, I told you". Watching our loved ones deal with their disease and fighting to stay connected and in our world but losing ground every day is the most crushing, horrible, painful thing I ever experienced. They are in there, fighting and losing and I am convinced at some level she knew that but could not articulate it.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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