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Heart Breaking

Biggles
Biggles Member Posts: 610
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I can’t get over how sweet and normal my DH seems. Sitting watching Love Actually for the 3rd time this season, laughing really enjoying the antics of ‘Miss Dunkin Donuts etc, having a curried egg sandwich for lunch and then he tries to say something and the words won’t form, I try to have a conversation with him and he can’t follow through. I ask him to pass me something and he is lost. It’s breaking my heart. I’m so sad.

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  • JulietteBee
    JulietteBee Member Posts: 335
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    I am so truly sorry. I am not at that stage with my DM but know it is coming. 😢

    Mom is currently at the point of misusing words, constantly saying, "You know what I mean." Sadly, I don't!

    Last week she called all distressed that I promised to help her take care of her taxes. I'm like, "Mom, what taxes?" "You know, my taxes are due. You were to help me do them"

    Try as I might, I had no clue what taxes she was talking about. I then thought she was talking about her property tax. I said, "Mom, the bank was set to auto-pay it in early November." She insisted, "No, the taxes that we have to decide on before January." At that point, I said, "Are you talking about open enrollment for your health insurance?"

    "Yes!"

    Our conversations continually break my heart. She thinks on some telepathic level that I know what she is speaking of.

    However, when she reaches the level of your DH, it is going to permanently shatter my heart. Hugs to you!🫂

  • CindyBum
    CindyBum Member Posts: 594
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    Big hug to you, dear. This damn disease!

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 610
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    Thanks CindyBum

  • jgreen
    jgreen Member Posts: 93
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    I am so very sorry for all of THIS, @Biggles and I wish I could find words to offer a tiny bit of comfort. You do have people to listen to you and understand your heartbreak. We are here for you.

    Big hugs💝

  • Russinator
    Russinator Member Posts: 279
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    ((HUGS))

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 847
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    My DH has not lost his ability to converse, but he is in a decline that seems to be picking up speed. I feel your pain @Biggles.

  • blacksparky
    blacksparky Member Posts: 172
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    I’m glad that we are all here supporting each other in our differing stages of this horrible disease. I don’t know what I would do if I hadn’t found this forum. Being here makes it a little less lonely and abandoned. Hang in there everyone.

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 610
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    Living 24/7 with my DH and a slow moving VD i find it’s hard to tell when there is a decline. He’s still continent (thank goodness), but I’m pushing food into his spoon every night for our main meal, showering together each morning, shaving him (with music and kisses) dressing him and turning on the tv for him which is all he seems to do. He is mostly compliant when I suggest we pop out somewhere that suits him, a drive by milkshake, the dog park, or a sandwich at the beach but he can only cope with one small activity a day. His movements are so desperately slow but he refuses to use the wheel chair and he is up pacing every night from about 4am which is exhausting. How long can this go on for I wonder. Then I cry.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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