ER visit, then more decline??

Yesterday I had to call 911 as my mom passed out and gasped for breath as she was trying to enter the bathroom. She said she couldn’t straighten her back, so I got a chair behind her so she could sit and then she loss consciousness. In the ER she was treated for hypotension and dehydration. A cat scan (? stroke) was negative, UA negative. She was sent home.

I had her only caregiver and we go back and forth between her state and mine. She is widowed, 96 yr old with mixed dementia, probably later stage. I was encouraged to look into MC in my state , rather than hers. There are no caregivers or relatives where she lives. She just wants to die in her home.

Back to yesterday, we got home from the ER and it took an hour to get her inside and to her bedroom. Difficulty using walker. She slept for awhile and then went to the bathroom. She can toilet herself but has a tendency to remove the Depends and go commando and have a “tail” hanging out. I usually hang outside the bathroom door, asking if she needs help and yesterday she said she did. Her hand was covered in poo and she was trying to get off (ripping) a poo-filled blow out Depends. She would not let me help her or listen to simple commands “clean your hand” and it took forever to get her cleaned up. Is this a reaction to an (ER) event?

Today, she is sitting hunched over with head down. She is not interested in TV or music. Her speech is non-sensical. She really isnt aware she is at my house, nor is she aware she lived elsewhere for 40+ years. She mentioned yesterday the my dad and brother are together and having a good time (both deceased).

I have looked into MC here and decided on a facility, but the wait list is 8-9 months long. I wanted to take care of my mom , but after yesterday, I am not sure I can.

Just venting more than anything. Thanks for “listening”.