In home care for parent- does not want help.. Los Banos, california

If you haven’t read about anosognosia I have attached a link. It makes things so difficult. One of the biggest reasons mom couldn’t live alone was the anosognosia. She could not recognize her limitations and was putting herself in dangerous situations. You might try disabling the stove, but that’s only going to solve one problem. Without the ability to recognize her limitations who knows what other situations she might get herself into. Climbing a ladder to change a light bulb, mowing the lawn, lifting heavy boxes in the garage….. Do you have DPOA? If you do, you are probably just going to have to do what needs to be done and let her get mad. My mom said she would NOT go to Al and later refused to go to a nursing home, but when it came down to it she did (she was not happy about it). Medication can help, but it can take a bit to get dosage right. If you hire in home aides and she is so upset that you can’t get aides to stay, you may need to consider a facility. While my mom was furious about her move to al she enjoyed the social aspect very much. It was a good thing for her. It’s so hard to force a parent to do something, even if it’s necessary and for their own safety and benefit.

If she hasn’t been to a doctor, has she been diagnosed? When I took mom to her pcp they did a very basic test and mom did just fine. I sent the doctor a note with all my concerns. I had to insist on a referral to a neurologist. After the neurologist evaluated her she told us mom was not safe to live alone and should no longer drive. The pcp who had treated her for years was oblivious. Tell your mom whatever story you need to to get her to the doctor. It’s ok to lie if it gets her the help she needs. The DPOA I mentioned is very important. This will allow you to make decisions for her. There is no reasoning with a person with dementia. You will never convince her she needs care. You have to advocate for her and make sure she gets it, even if she doesn’t want it(the DPOA will allow you to legally do this). I have attached a staging tool that may help. There were so many things I didn’t even realize were symptoms. Dementia is about so much more than just memory problems.