Finally at Peace

Klako · December 10

First of all, I want to thank everyone who makes this site possible and to all of you who have been my lifeline for the last 3+ years as I have navigated this ugly disease with my dad. I could have never gotten through it without all of you.
Dad passed last evening around 5:30. It was so peaceful. No one knew it was coming in that moment either. He had gone down to the eating area for lunch (ate a bite of ice cream and a couple sips of cranberry juice - his usual if anything these days). The nurse when I got there after work said he was sleeping but was good today. I sat with him as he slept and watched the 5:00 news as he and I had done so often in my after work visits. His breathing was fast when I got there but it had been over the past week so I didn’t think anything of it. Then I noticed his breathing was slower….then seconds would pass in between….then as I held his hand the breaths seemed to stop. I got the nurse. She thought at first he was having an apnea moment but then said she needed a it her nurse…they asked me to step out for a minute while they evaluated him….a minute later they came out and said he had passed.
He is finally at peace. The peace I have prayed for him for so long. He no longer has to wonder when he is going home, why he has to be there because there is nothing wrong with him and he no longer has to deal with this ugly disease that slowly turns a person’s dimmer switch off. I am grateful he knew all of us right up to the end and for many great times with him among the not so good times.
For those of you still riding this crazy roller coaster, please know you are in my prayers. Use this forum often or whenever you feel helpless, there is solace here. Again, thank you for all of your encouraging words and advice and confirmation of what I was deciding or feeling over these years.

Prayers for peace for all of us…..

JeriLynn66 · December 10

I’m so sorry for the loss of your Dear Father. Peace be with you.

psg712 · December 10

So sorry for the loss of your Dad. I am glad that his passing was peaceful and that you were able to be present with him. Your description of the "dimmer switch" is so vivid and accurate - sometimes it moves up a tiny bit and our LO is brighter for a moment, then it inevitably moves downward again in the slow fade. Your dad's fade is finished. Peace to you, who stood by his side.

Rob's Daughter · December 10

So sorry to hear about your Dad. May you have many memories all the good times.

ARIL · December 11

You have my sympathy as you navigate this new reality and can turn your attention to grieving and thinking of your dad’s life in its fullness and complexity. How comforting to have a peaceful passing.

Thank you for posting about this. It helps me see a little further over the horizon, and I am grateful.

Yesterday right after work I went to see my dad in MC. He was napping, so I just sat with him. He would wake up, greet me by name, say a sentence or two, and then fall back asleep. Eventually he woke up and got up for dinner—but I can see that we are on a trajectory to more and more sleep. And somehow it felt calming to be with him…and really OK, you know?

Take care.

SDianeL · December 11

I’m so sorry for your loss. His suffering has ended. Glad his passing was peaceful. Cherish the memories. Praying for your strength and comfort. 🙏💜

harshedbuzz · December 11

@Klako

I am sorry for your loss.

What a blessing for him to have so gentle a passing with you at his side.

HB

Klako · December 11

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/260437#Comment_260437

There were many days I sat with my dad as he slept. Those were sometimes the most peaceful visits because his disease was resting too. People would ask if I woke him because I was there and I never wanted to. It wasn’t about me and I was there enough that he knew I was there. Although in the last week I found out when my uncle would visit he would tell my uncle that I had not been there for months.
If there is any advice I can give it is to roll with it. Do what gives you peace and it will always be the right decision. Blessings on you as you travel this journey with your dad.

lisn2cats · December 11

I am so very sorry for your loss and, I suppose, at least you have the comfort of knowing he passed peacefully and with you nearby.

April23 · December 11

“Do what gives you peace and it will always be the right decision.”

Thank you for that beautiful reminder even in the midst of your grief. So many thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

ARIL · December 12

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/260481#Comment_260481

Thank you! It is so kind of you to encourage me and others, even at this time of loss. What a beautiful tribute to your dad’s memory, for you to reach out to us and hold up a lamp to help us see a little better and to make the shadows less scary and the path less lonely. Blessings to you.

Finally at Peace

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