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Dementia Paranoia Psychosis

Mav2126
Mav2126 Member Posts: 50
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in Caring for a Parent

My dad is in the hospital for a real physical ailment. But he is getting extremely angry and combative with staff. He is convinced they are all out to harm him. I don't know what I can do because I can't help him when he is delusional. I feel hopeless and out of control of the situation. He literally is refusing medication that would keep him alive.

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  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 1,707
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    Has he been diagnosed with dementia? Is there an assigned medical poa? I would think doctors should be listening to the medical poa. You might need to assert yourself a bit. On the flip side, quality of life should be considered. Sorry I’m going to be blunt and I know I don’t have all the information. But the dementia journey is an ugly one, especially the end. Would the non treatment of his current condition spare him the horror of dementia end stages? I feel for you. This is such a difficult situation.

  • Mav2126
    Mav2126 Member Posts: 50
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    Thanks for your comments H1235. There has been no official determination of dementia but he is clearly psychotic and paranoid - so its kind of a moot point if he is diagnosed or not diagnosed. I am assigned in his will as a "health agent" which I am assuming is like a health proxy where I would get to make decisions for him if he is incapable and he is incapable right now. The non treatment could kill him and there is nothing I can do to stop it. That is what is frustrating.

  • easy23
    easy23 Member Posts: 352
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/74826/dementia-paranoia-psychosis

    Maybe the nurse can give him a shot of Ativan and calm him enough so he will take the necessary med.

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 1,707
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    My thought was that if he was diagnosed, doctors should be following your wishes not his, since he is not of sound mind to know what is best. I have papers signed by to doctors stating mom is not capable of making medical decisions for herself. If he refuses to take pills then can they put medication in his food or give him a shot? How crazy is our medical system to let a person clearly not of sound mind make important medical decisions.

  • JulietteBee
    JulietteBee Member Posts: 418
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    @H1235, as a nurse, no one can get an awake patient to take their meds without their consent. They often spit out the food that we hide the meds in, often times spitting it in their nurse's face.

    With or without an already in place Living Will refusing all life prolonging treatment, there is nothing @Mav2126 can do. Even if Mav consented to having them place a feeding tube, a postop, awake patient, can, and often will, yank out the tube.

    Sadly, dad just need to be made a DNR and be allowed to die when the time comes.

    Hugs, @Mav2126. 🫂

  • CaliforniaGirl-1
    CaliforniaGirl-1 Member Posts: 166
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    My LO's doctor said PWD dementia often spiral out of control in hospitals and to remember we could always say enough and take them out of the hospital and back to the MC.

    In most states a medical power of attorney will allow you to consent or refuse care on someone's behalf but it will not allow you to consent to care, medications or interventions they are actively refusing. They will not force someone to take medication or have interventions against their will. As @JulietteBee
    said, it generally would not succeed anyway.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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