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Awkward and Embarrassing

mwoolley
mwoolley Member Posts: 18
10 Comments 25 Care Reactions 5 Likes 5 Insightfuls Reactions
Member
in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

I am asking folks on this platform for advice on how to handle a spouse who no longer speaks with a filter, seems unable to "read the room", and says embarrassing things in public. I understand that my spouse is no longer the woman I married almost 50 years ago, and she is not to blame for the disease that controls her life now, but when she says inappropriate things to others who may not understand the complexities of dementia, I am unsure how to handle it. Not everyone can see the neon sign over her head that says "I have dementia". Asking her to not saying offensive things only invite an argument, which is of course, futile. Is it just me struggling with this issue, or are others living it as well?

Comments

  • Timmyd
    Timmyd Member Posts: 321
    250 Insightfuls Reactions 250 Care Reactions 250 Likes 100 Comments
    Member

    When we are in public and DW does / says something inappropriate that impacts strangers, I have cards I will discreetly hand out describing her condition. I suspect however that we are a bit further along than you may be. There is no situation where someone could interact with DW and not be aware that something is definitely wrong with her. The opportunities DW has to interact with strangers is rather minimal these day.

  • Possibilities4LO
    Possibilities4LO Member Posts: 3
    First Comment
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/261266#Comment_261266

    I have used cards explaining my DW's condition. At first I was not sure how the cards would be received, but people have nodded and smiled and all was well.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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