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An even sadder Day

I'm back home, sadly, Donna didn't make it. 

Due to there being no traffic I got to the hospital an hour before her pickup time (better early than late). 

When they brought her to me she was crying but I calmed her down by telling her she be home with Jazzy soon. Then we took a short walk, about 100 feet, to the car. Half way there she started crying again. I tried to comfort her but failed. 

We took off for home with her crying all the way. At one point she asked me why I killed all those people, as you know, I never killed anyone. 

About half way home she started kicking the dashboard and screaming as loud as she could. Then she rolled down the window yelling "help me - he's trying to kill me" (we were still on the freeway). I was afraid she'd either jump out or crab the steering wheel - that didn't happen; however she started hitting me. Then she grabbed the sun shade on her side and tried to rip it off. 

By then I was on the 405 at Ellis so I got off the freeway. Then she hit me some more. 

As we were stopped at a red light at Ellis and Ward she yelled to the car next to us  "help me - he's trying to kill me" 

When we hit another red light at Brookhurst and Yorktown she jumped out of the car and took off running. 

I pulled into the parking lot, jumped out, followed her as I was calling 911 for the paramedics. 

As I was waiting for them she was going up and down the sidewalk yelling and trying to get a car to stop (no one did), At times she was in the middle of the street and running all up and down Brookhurst. At one point she went into the mobile home park and banged on a few doors. 

Then it back the sidewalk on Brookhurst - running south - then the cops and paramedics arrived. They took her to Memorial Hospital on Brookhurst just south of Talbert. 

I'm very sad. When I saw her Monday (3 days ago) she was happy and we had a nice visit. I love her so very much. I afraid for her.

Comments

  • Chammer
    Chammer Member Posts: 236
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    I am so sorry for this for you and for her.

  • Chance Rider
    Chance Rider Member Posts: 213
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    Oh @Russinator, I’m so sorry, that must have been terrifying when she ran out into traffic. I hope doctors can help her settle down and maybe find a way to ease her anxiety/fears.

  • tonyac2
    tonyac2 Member Posts: 182
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    What a horrifying story. I don’t even know how you’re processing it. I pray she can find help to calm her.

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 3,056
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    edited December 2025

    oh I am so sorry. I remember when my mom was so out of it like that. It’s so hard to watch it all unfold. You just feel so helpless


    After today's behavior, it’s obvious that they should not have released her. In addition, I think you are going to have to find a facility for her because she’s just too scared of you to allow you to properly care for her any longer.

  • wose
    wose Member Posts: 337
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    Lordy, I feel so bad for you and DW. You must be totally exhausted. So scary how quickly things can turn. Hopefully she’s resting peacefully and maybe you can too a little. Keeping you two in my thoughts and prayers.

  • RetiredTeacher
    RetiredTeacher Member Posts: 308
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    I am so sorry for both of you. What a terrifying experience for both of you. Dementia sucks! It is so awful for all involved. I hope they can find meds to help her and you allow yourself time to recover. 🙏 for peace for you.

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 916
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    What an unnerving and overwhelming episode you went through. I truly cannot imagine. I’m at a loss for words other than to say how sorry I feel for you going through this. Poor Donna, she must have been so terrified. I hope they find the medications that can give her relief.

  • Jgirl57
    Jgirl57 Member Posts: 782
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    (((HUGS)))

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 2,928
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    so sorry. They should not have released her. It’s not your fault. She needs to be in a facility with 24/7 care. I hope they find the right combination of meds to help her. I know how this makes you feel. Hugs. 💜

  • CindyBum
    CindyBum Member Posts: 649
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    edited December 2025

    Oh, Russinator. I know how busy those streets are.

    Big, big hug.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 6,175
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    I am so sorry.

    HB

  • jgreen
    jgreen Member Posts: 192
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    You and Donna are in my prayers, @Russinator. I too hope they find right meds combinations and that you are able to find a safe and caring facility for Donna.

    Peace be with you. And hugs.

  • Russinator
    Russinator Member Posts: 286
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    Thanks to everyone for those kind words.

  • Dio
    Dio Member Posts: 905
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    OMG, I can't imagine what you went through. Please give us an update if you can. Hope things are settling down.

  • White Crane
    White Crane Member Posts: 1,124
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    Russinator, what a terrifying experience for both of you! I'm so sorry and pray they can geat her on a good medication regimen so she can be calm and less fearful. And I hope you can find some peace.

  • ronda b
    ronda b Member Posts: 357
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    Hugs. So sorry this happen.

  • Russinator
    Russinator Member Posts: 286
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    Hello y'all. Thanks for all your kind words. Today is Jan 26. It's been a little over four weeks since DW had that terrible dementia panic attack Christmas morning. She was sent to O.C. Global here in California's Orange County. On Jan 7th they transferred her to a Silverado MC Facility. Counting today she's been there 20 days and doing excellent, that being said, Silverado charges close to $13,000 a month plus a one time fee of $11,500 to set everything up. I can afford it for a year but not any longer than that. Our daughter lives in Lake Charles where they have a top rated MCF (Brookdale) that charges less than half what Silverado charges. Does anyone know anything about Brookdale? Our daughter is there right now checking it out. If she says it's as good as reported we'll sell our house and moved there.

  • Karen711
    Karen711 Member Posts: 221
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    You have really been through it!! You are amazing and figuring out what you have to- so tough and heartbreaking! My thoughts are with you and your DW! Sending a hug!!!

  • Chammer
    Chammer Member Posts: 236
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    I've seen suggestions to attend local support groups to get area specific recommendations from real people in the trenches. Is your daughter able to attend any local support groups in the area? I looked up support groups and Trinity Baptist Church in the Lake Charles area has an Alzheimers Support group that meets monthly on the first Thursday. She might be able to connect with locals who are more familiar with that specific Brookdale facility or other facilities in the area.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more