A big Ouchy for New Year’s Eve
First, Happy New Year. After being in the kitchen all day cooking up a storm, I spilled a pot of boiling water on my arm and foot. My skin started disintegrating before my eyes. So so scary. As I’m screaming in pain DH starts hitting me in the head. Thankfully my phone was near and had to call 911. It was an unbelievable ordeal getting me and DH in the ambulance. Anyway we’re home after a $40 Uber ride home for a 2.5 mile jaunt. I never used it so the Dr ordered it on my phone. I have second degree burns but DH is off the rails and worse off than me. There truly truly is no one to look after us…is there? Such a stark reality when you’re in a pickle. His son was on the phone with him, but no call or text for me to see how I was doing. Zero concern. That seals the Christmas money gift for me. How can stepson not follow up with anything at all knowing we were in the emergency room? At least I know how to Uber now. It gets scarier everyday. Thanks for listening💜 I really do hope and pray for a New Year that brings everyone here some level of peace, comfort and joy.
Comments
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Oh, @wose I am so, so sorry for what you went through! It’s truly scary knowing many of us are in this alone and don’t have anyone to call in an emergency. I can’t imagine being in so much pain and then having your DH hitting you in the head. Adding to the physical pain is the hurt of your stepson’s lack of concern for you.
I understand cutting off the $$ envelopes. My stepdaughter removed herself from any contact with us 25 years ago. We sent her daughter Christmas and birthday gifts until she turned 18.
I hope you heal quickly!
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@wose, that is so scary. Take care of those burns. I honestly don’t know how you do it. You have had more than your fair share of difficulty. Your stepson doesn’t sound like a very nice human being.
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so sorry this happened to you. Take care of yourself. Hugs. 💜
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Oh @wose, I am extremely saddened at hearing of your burns AND your hubby's assault. I don't know which you would say hurt worst. I see them as equal, just different. To top it off, your stepson should not be allowed to add to your distress or cause more pain. I know it is easier said than done, but ignore him and his lack of common decency. He is not worthy of the space you have allowed him to occupy in your heart and mind.😢
Thank you for the new year's greeting. I hope your experience tonight will not mar your year.🙏🏽
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Oh no, Wose! This is so inappropriate, but you gave me my first (and they are rare) chuckle for 2026. Your DH hitting you on the head while you are screaming in pain trying to call 911 just hit home to me…unless someone lives in this bizarre world that we do, they could not even imagine this scenario. I hope that you recover quickly…truly, what an awful way to start the New Year…but…at least you can call an Uber now!
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@wose
I am so very sorry that you are just suffering in so many ways. Your experience is a stark reminder of how alone and abandoned a caregiver can be.
Feel better.
HB
PS His son is not just worthless, he's an idiot. Does he not realize that this task will fall to him if anything happens to you?5 -
Wose,
What an awful ordeal. The lack of support you have is appalling. It feels so inadequate that all I can offer is a cyber hug and some understanding of the bizarre reality all of us live— A reality in which a LO can hit us as we scream in pain from an accident. In the non-dementia world this would be a domestic violence crime. For us, it’s just another day as a caregiver.
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(((HUGS)))Hope you feel better . Painful recovery I am sure.
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Sending you hugs and healing energy… It certainly feels we are alone in bearing the burdens of our current predicament. Hope you have good neighbors. If so, don't hesitate to ask for help.
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Wose , I just read your post and just shuddered at all that happened to you. Burns are so painful and take time to heal. Everyone needs help at some time and the stepson will learn that and think about what he didn't do.
Do you have a neighbor that might help with whatever you need done? Wish I was close and I would be that person. Take care.
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Wose, I shuddered when I read your post. A few months ago, I spilled boiling water on my foot and the pain was unbearable! Thankfully, my daughter was visiting and took care of me. I am so sorry you had to go through this ordeal and I pray your arm and foot heal quickly. Hugs.
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I’m glad I got someone to laugh. Humor does keep me going but no one laughs at my jokes anymore. It was literally like a scene from the 3 stooges. He was shadowing me and I had the pot in my hands and tripped over him. Thank God none on him! As I’m dousing my hand in cool water he’s clocking me in the head with a spatula. There I am … old ripped sweats, no bra, no makeup my hair a wild mess. Hubby has the same clothes on for 3 weeks now, can’t remember when he took a shower last😳 I explained our situation to the nice paramedics.
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Just wanted to thank everyone. I’m in a lot of pain but have to get through. There are no neighbors or anyone else willing. We all know the drill. I’m bandaged really good so I was able to make our New Years Eve dinner. Tomorrow I’ll try for our usual New Years pork and sauerkraut…. for him.. You wonderful people are the best of the best. Your comments and company get me through💜TY
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Oh burns hurt so badly, I am so sorry this happened to you. Please try and take some care for you.
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Wose…I'm glad you replied because I was feeling guilty and like my humour was so misplaced! I really am glad that you're doing ok. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think we look like a scene straight out of the movie 'Deliverance'! I don't even shave my legs anymore and rarely put on makeup or comb my hair…my HWD never showers and I don't even suggest it anymore…he wears the same clothes for weeks…he doesn't know who I am most of the time and would think it was none of my business anyway, since I'm just the maid or that woman who "he doesn't like very much because she's always bossing him around". I used to have a great wit, but like you…"nobody laughs at my jokes any more". I do, though!
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I'm so sorry this happened to you. Do take care.
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Damn, girl. I’m glad you’re healing up.
Big hug
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I am fortunate that I do have local kids who can and will step in, but…what happens if I have a fall and can't get up, or think that i am having a stroke/heart attack? DH at his best would have been in panic mode if he even noticed. I got a personal safety alarm that I wear in case of an accident or such. Caretakers have to take care of themselves first…just like on an airplane. Sorry about your burn.
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Scrolling through and just found this @wose what a horrible nightmare I do hope the burns are mending. Described so well it sounded like a bad taste movie and like Bailey’s Mom I am a sucker for bad taste humour you did give me a good laugh I don’t know about the peace for 2026 but certainly you have given us some joy and the stark reality we are on our own but how can you predict an accident. You did so well and gave us all something to think about …. The cavalry’s not coming.
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@wose You've been on my mind. Can you update us on how you're doing if you're up to it?
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To be honest @harshedbuzz, it’s been pure hell these past 6 days. The dementia continues full blast thru excruciating pain. I have to change the dressing 4 times a day but no pain medicine. It’s awful. DH doesn’t remember and I still have to wait on him. I just wish I had one person… just one. Thank you for checking on me, it means a lot and I’m sorry for the negativity. I go back to the Dr at 4pm today, but I think time is all there is to heal. Thank You💜
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I’m truly sorry for the pain you are going through. I do so enjoy your sense of humor. My husband and I used to laugh so hard because he has such a quick wit and a great sense of humor.
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I still love my jokes too. I said something to my husband and cracked myself up. I was laughing and he was clueless. Your visual of how you look was making me snicker, because I’m getting there.
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@wose, I was searching for your previous post to do a check-in. I see HB beat me to it.
In the midst of caring for hubby & changing dressings, know that you are being thought of & prayed for.🙏🏽🫂💙
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@wose Yes thinking for you and praying for healing or as you said that at least one person…….
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Is there an agency like visiting angles of anything near you that can come in and do some of the chores for a little while to give you some time to just take a short break, you deserve it. There are a lot of things they won't do but them doing what they will might give you a chance to take a short break for yourself.
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Thanks everyone. Dr said at least 4 more weeks of healing then we’ll see if there is scarring or permanent nerve damage. I have pins and needles a little bit so that’s good. It looks awful but I don’t care about that. @BPS DH would throw them out on their keister even if they came with wings! He got rid of my snow angel last week, so I had to shovel. Thank goodness I freeze a lot of my meals. Laundry and cleaning will have to wait. @trottingalong … I walk around all day like I’m bantering with Robin Williams even tho he just shakes his head at me…humor and music keep me going for sure. Thank you again guys for your kindness, it means the world. I surely don’t feel so alone knowing you’re stumbling through this with me💜
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@wose
Maybe your DH would benefit from medication if you are to keep him home. Hidden in food if necessary.
Protecting your physical and mental health is truly the best thing you can do for his continued well-being.
Can you bring in an aide during your recovery? I got one in to help mom after her knee replacement and told dad that they were there on doctor's orders and if he tried to dismiss them, both would have to go to a nursing home until mom was better. Worked for me. We kept his favorite on to give mom a break to which she could look forward.
HB2
Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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