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Wife has nothing to do

Karl38
Karl38 Member Posts: 30
Fifth Anniversary 25 Care Reactions 5 Likes First Comment
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in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

My wife has ALZ and she has had a rapid change from Stage 4 to 5 in the past few months. She has no interests and is really not capable of doing much anymore. She gets moody and agitated with nothing to do so I try my best to find things. We go for walks in the neighborhood, go to the Mall and walk around, eat lunch out almost every day, go to Senior Center activities, etc. But it's not enough to fill every day. It's worse in the evenings because Sundowners is becoming more of a problem now in Stage 5. Any suggestions on how to handle this are appreciated.

Comments

  • terei
    terei Member Posts: 847
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    I hired a companion to come in and take her to lunch, garage sales, conversation, etc once or twice a week. If you could do that it would also give you a break from full time caregiving. Sometimes playing music that you know she likes could help. This is another reason why LOs are placed in MC so they have numerous people around, activities, breakfast, lunch, dinner and activities to keep residents active. IMO 24/7 caregiving by one person can go on only so long before the caretaker is exhausted and burned out.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 3,193
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    you might try a realistic baby doll. Many have used them. You can do a search for them for dementia. Does your county have an elderly daycare? If she is agitated I would speak to her doctor about medication.

  • Marla13
    Marla13 Member Posts: 61
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    Maybe she might enjoy activities at an adult day care center if you have one near you?

  • Maru
    Maru Member Posts: 334
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    You are already doing more than we are doing. My DH (probably state 4) only wants to play Sudoku and watch his favorite sports teams on TV. I keep a jigsaw puzzle going in the kitchen and he will work on that every now and then. Evenings are spent in watching TV with me, although most of the time DH is doing endless scrolling on his Ipad. He refuses to go on any errands with me, even if I offer to take him out for a treat.He is almost 91 but still mobile. I have given up on trying to engage him in anything. It's pretty depressing.

  • White Crane
    White Crane Member Posts: 1,162
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    When my DH was still home, he helped by drying dishes, setting the table, folding laundry…towels and washcloths, helping me change the sheets on the bed, chopping fruits or vegetables for meals, raking taking a few leaves, sorting silverware, easy jigsaw puzzles, singing familiar songs, sitting outside when the weather was nice and watching the cars and walkers go by.

  • Goodlife2025
    Goodlife2025 Member Posts: 303
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    Folding laundry has been a big one for us but like you said it only keeps her busy for so long. I am currently experimenting with a variety of fidgets. I have a grandson with autism and I noticed her messing with his. She likes the ones where she pushes in a bubble or button but they make a big variety.

  • HollyBerry
    HollyBerry Member Posts: 229
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Care Reactions
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    My partner went through a phase last summer when she did jigsaw puzzles every waking minute. I'd take her to Goodwill or the dollar store and find the easy ones and she'd do them over and over. Then, abruptly, she stopped doing those and now she does word finds with the same single mindedness. Word find books are $1.50 at the Dollar Store! She's cheap fun. I have no idea what she'll do when she gets tired of those.

  • blues
    blues Member Posts: 20
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    There are many "access" programs at art museums or other arts venues, designed for people with dementia. They don't take up a lot of time but can be something to look forward to. Many also have virtual (zoom) programming, and in my experience you do not have to live in the city where the venue is based.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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