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alzcarer · January 11

My MIL is starting to ask me permission in her own home, can I have coffee? Can I close the curtains, can I do this etc? Is this a stage? Am I doing to much?

SDianeL · January 11

not necessarily a stage but a behavior. She may be confused about whose house it is. She may think it’s yours. Their timeline is off. That’s why many say they want to go home when they are living in the house they have lived in for decades. They also have anxiety caused by dementia. Just answer yes. Get in their world.

H1235 · January 11

I would be more inclined to think it is her insecurity, confusion and just uncertainty with all she is going through with dementia. I think some people respond to dementia by becoming meek, unaware and almost submissive, while others become demanding, angry and fight their loss of control. Hopefully this is a sign she will be cooperative through this ugly journey.

Quilting brings calm · January 11

It sounds like she’s unsure of what is appropriate or correct anymore. Decisions are difficult for PWD. My mom was anxious every single time she had to make any decision. Ordering an individual pizza in a restaurant for her last birthday was very difficult. She ended up ordering a combination of toppings I had never seen her eat. So just go with the flow and answer her- yes you can have coffee - or no, it’s too close to bedtime for coffee- how about decaf soda?

Anonymousjpl123 · January 11

I think it’s the disease running its course. One of my favorite parts of the 35 hour day is the beginning when they give “a day in the life” from the perspective of a PWD. She may not recognize things, or feel confident in what to do. I am so sorry. It’s good you are with her.

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