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Intimacy and guilt

shiawase12
shiawase12 Member Posts: 62
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Member
edited December 2025 in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

My DH (probably late stage 4 or into stage 5?) makes comments and wants to be intimate alot!

I on the otherhand have not wanted to for some time, just no desire. I feel guilty for not being intimate with him, but just can not bring myself to.

DH has always had a higher drive than me. I keep thinking this will probably get worse since he always was that way.

Just so tired of putting him off and making excuses and wishing his desire would fade.

Even more tired of feeling guilty about it.

Thanks for letting me vent. A bit embarrassed to discuss this, but this is the only place I feel I can.

Comments

  • Russinator
    Russinator Member Posts: 295
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    I'm in the same boat as charley0419

  • CindyBum
    CindyBum Member Posts: 675
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    Though I happily did not have to deal with this, some LOs with dementia here have suddenly demonstrated hyper-sexual behavior. I believe it typically dies down after a time.

    Please try to let go of the guilt. This journey is so dang hard already.

  • Dio
    Dio Member Posts: 906
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    Oh, that relentless guilt…let it go. Easier said than done. I know. Hugs.

  • shiawase12
    shiawase12 Member Posts: 62
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    Member

    Thank you to apll of you for taking a moment to respond.

    So true that this is such a horrible journey we're on and guilt certainly doesn't help any thing.

    Appreciate knowing I'm not alone on this journey. Hugs. ❤️

  • White Crane
    White Crane Member Posts: 1,149
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    When my husband was in this stage, I called his neurologist and asked for help. He prescribed a small dose of Seroquel helped quite a bit.

  • Barbie300
    Barbie300 Member Posts: 28
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    Member

    I’m having the same problem. My DH can’t remember anything for a minute or 2 but he has taken Cialis for many years and has a reminder set on his phone to take it daily. Sometimes he will ask me if I remember what his reminder is for. I don’t want to tell him and I am so tired of putting up with this.

  • acanwilliams
    acanwilliams Member Posts: 1
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    Member

    My goodness same here! I feel so guilty and in most cases give in. Then I feel guilty about that too...

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 3,090
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    hypersexuality is common in some forms of dementia. I would talk to his doctor. There are medications that could help.

  • jfkoc
    jfkoc Member Posts: 4,933
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    Lack of libido may be hormonal. I would certainly talk to my Dr about it.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

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