My mother hides her purse nightly

Pgh50 · January 20

My mother hides her purse and wallet nightly in her room at her assisted living facility. For now, she has a private room that locks and is very secure. She swears that people come in nightly and steal her purse however after a diligent search of her room, the purse is always located. We have tried to be consistent with keeping it in the same location of her choosing nightly. Our last call of the day is putting her purse in that location, however every morning I get a call that somebody came in and took her purse. It is apparent that after that last call of the day she moves the purse to all locations throughout her three room aprtment.

Are there any ideas or suggestions that may be helpful for this behavior. She recently started medication (seroquel) for the paranoia and delusions but no results yet. Thank you for any advice.

AmandaF · January 20

I’m not sure how to keep her from hiding the purse, but attaching an AirTag to it would at least help you find it. When my mom still had a purse, we clipped a tracker to the strap (my sister-in-law found a cute case for it so it looked like a fun little keychain or something). Maybe you could even sew it into the lining, if you think she’d remove something clipped on. Good luck.

H1235 · January 20

What if you talked with her about the purse and offered to take it home with you for safe keeping. Maybe even lean into her delusion a bit, stressing that no one will get it at your house, you will protect it. If you dont think she would agree to this , maybe just bring it home without telling her. When she calls looking for it, apologize for not telling her and explain that you brought it to your house to keep it safe. I imagine you would have to do this multiple times since she will not remember the conversation. With any luck if the purse is out of sight for a while she will forget about it. I hope you can find something that works.

SiberianIris · January 20

My mom did the same thing when she was around Stage 5.

I put an AirTag on my mom's purse which allowed me to track it with my iPhone. She came up with some interesting hiding places for it, and was always calling to say someone had stolen it. At least the air tag told me it hadn't traveled very far.

She's now in memory care (early stage 6), and I still have the air tag on her purse. There's nothing valuable in it, just a key chain with random keys and a wallet with a few dollars and fake credit cards.

At first, she was carrying it with her to various parts of the MC facility, like the beauty shop and PT. Now when I visit her, I always find her at one of the activities, but the purse stays in her room. I don't think she carries it anymore. At least she's never mentioned it being stolen anymore. As dementia progresses, things like eyeglasses and purses will lose their importance.

My mother hides her purse nightly

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