Personality changes in caregivers

Normally, I am (was) a joyful person. I bounced back from negative events quickly and anticipated well-meaning and good intentions from others. Even though my DH is only in stage 3-4, I have already experienced depression. I am not experiencing any more social isolation than previously except within our marriage. How can one carry on an intelligent conversation with someone who confabulates half of what they are saying? And, then, there is trying to treat someone as a functional adult with the dignity they deserve when out of the blue they are a rebellious teenager or a needy 5 year old ? We've only had a few days where I feel like I'm living Whack a Mole. I try not to think about how things will be as he deteriorates more. God bless all caretakers.

Last summer we had a very rare family trip with my grandkids to an amusement park. I have ridden roller coasters in many years ago but had alway experienced a bit of fear, thrill and excitement, trepidation. I road the biggest baddest coaster in the park and felt nothing, I was numb. I think my life was scarier than the coaster.

Depression and anxiety have taken a firm hold on me, and I’ve changed from an on-the-go active person to an unhappy sloth.

Yesterday my next door neighbors were walking on our road. I stopped to talk with them and realized I dominated the conversation talking about my husband. I apologized, they understood and offered to help with my projects. I don’t like that this disease is consuming me. I don’t want to be “that person”.

@Stan2 That is a very interesting question. A different perspective from the book of knowledge to in practice.

My DH and I were both fun, into life, social people, We now live a life of silent chastity, aphasia and VD have robed us, cheated us, taken everything. I can't believe how hard I work to try to keep our life interesting and alive and I think it is now taking its toll, every bit of my body is aching physically and mentally. Even the few and far social outings we manage are so very stressful and no one can help. My one saving grace is our daughter rings every morning on her way to work and pushes my buttons intellectually keeping me involved with current affairs (she is a Government researcher) it's so hard.

I totally agree with the theory. Between everyone I’ve cared for since I was 22 ( 2 children 10 years apart, younger one ( deceased almost 3 years ago at age of 31) with seizures, both mom and step-dad ( both deceased in 2024) with dementia and other illnesses, my own health issues, my spouses health issues and now spouse slowly going blind…. I’m hyper vigilant, worry more than I should,but also numb. I find myself very resentful of every chore and request that I didn’t initiate ( and I mean things like having to call someone because our account’s not right, etc). I just want to stop anything that isn’t me oriented. And we know that is impossible. Not sure if I will ever snap out of it.

i do the same Ask for help guidance patience and kindness but the years are rolling on and I wonder if there will be much of me left at the end. I am so tired.