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Even with your dad there, she still needs a DPOA. If something were to happen to your dad there would be no one assigned to make decisions for her or manage finances. If your dad needed to put her in a facility because he can’t care for her at home, I believe he would still need a DPOA. You did say he has his own problems and won’t be much help. Does that mean he will not be able to care for her as things progress? If he isn’t attending doctors appointments that’s a problem. Someone needs to be able to talk with the doctor about her symptoms and with hipaa you need a DPOA. She can take those hipaa right (that she signs in the doctors office) away from family at any time. Your dad also needs a DPOA. If he starts having symptoms (it happens) or needs to be hospitalized, someone will need to manage their finances. DPOA is something that MUST be done in advance! They need to be of sound mind. If you wait too long guardianship may be necessary and that is expensive and involves the courts. I would recommend you keep things low key when discussing the DPOA. Tell her it’s just because she is getting older and it’s one of those things that needs to be addressed. Maybe even tell her you are having some legal paperwork done too. She should also do a will.

She is not just stubborn! She has anosognosia. This is the inability to recognize their symptoms or limitations. It’s very common with dementia. I think hands down one of the worst middle stage symptoms. A person with dementia is not going to ask for help. They will continue to use the stove and drive until they burn the house down or get in a car accident. I had to insert myself into mom’s business. She hated it(still does) and is often annoyed and even angry with me. But I can talk with her doctors about her care and she is safe and cared for. Ideally you insert yourself into things with excuses or stories. It’s always best to avoid pointing out to a person with dementia their symptoms or limitations (since they believe they have non). So suggest you would like to meet her doctor because you are thinking about finding a new doctor. You make up an excuse that she will buy into. I know being dishonest goes against what most of us have been taught, but it’s being done to help her.

Is she still driving? Should she be? Dementia is about way more than just memory issues. Visual spatial issues, lack of good judgment, problems planning and organizing, reaction time, I could go on and on. If she is not safe to drive I would disable the car!
I have attached a few resources that may help.