Thank you for baring your souls

I too wanted to believe that my dear wife's symptoms were NOT Dementia and joining with her found excuses for them. I saw them, our daughters saw them, but none of us wanted to believe it. But, it was and it lead us down a difficult path. I would tell you, however, that this site and these people are lifesavers. I only wish someone had told me sooner about this site as it would have helped me so much. However, once finding it, everyone was so kind in sharing and I learned so much that enabled me to provide better care for my dear wife. Come here as often as you can, your question might already have been asked and answers provided so use the search bar often. This site and these people are far more helpful than anything else I read, or found.

Those moments, and they are so often just a moment, are such precious memories. When our loved one returns, for just a second, to their self before and we see them one more time as who we really know they are but now trapped in a disease. As I looked back, I now see those moments more clearly for what they were. My loved one fighting to return to me, wanting it, unconsciously perhaps, as much as I. I believe now and I believed it throughout that while this horrible disease steadily steals away their brain, their heart remains intact and strong and full of fight to love us one more time. It is those brief but cherished moments that made me a believer. The fight to care for them and survive ourselves will return again and it will demand more and more, but believe that their heart is there, knowing, loving, caring, thanking and trying, trying oh so hard, to show us. Fight, fight hard, fight fiercely, fight as if your life depended upon it, because when it is over for our loved one our fight to survive alone begins and is even worse.

Dan, welcome to the group. Congratulations on your sobriety and sense of purpose in your life. There is so much self-realization that comes along with a dementia situation!

I think those friends and family who truly love your husband will accept his changes appropriately once they know of the diagnosis. You should feel free to offer suggestions to them ahead of time and be available on visits to serve as the facilitator. If your husband accepts his diagnosis it should go much better. My dear wife rejected her diagnosis, anosognosia, for a long time and believed others knew and judged her and thought she was "crazy" (her word). This resulted in isolating from so many because those outbursts lasted far longer than a visit and I was the receiver. Pray that your husband dose not take that path. Once my wife progressed farther and no longer reacted, family visited more often but by then she was much less able to enjoy the visits. They were, however, able to engage to her limits successfully after understanding the do's and do not's.

My wife also experienced loss of muscle tone and mass and demonstrated shuffling at times. Someone always had to be with her when she walked. Early on she used a rollator chair backwards as a walker and did quite well, then rode in it in the hose with assistance and then back to walking with assistance. As it goes, just when you think you have it figured out, it changes again.

Well said. I feel the same.

Usually I wake up early. The wife sleeps a bit but I’m usually with her when she wakes up. The other morning when she woke up she actually said my name, clear as day. Can’t remember the last time she did that. A millisecond of normalcy. I’ll take it. This site really has been a salvation.

HOW beautiful howhale, how I needed to hear this, these fighting strong words, my tears are flowing and my strength is back.

I was thinking the same when I came across your post. You captured this onslaught of emotions to a tee. May we all survive this to see another day.