How to keep DH occupied

Barbie300 · February 28

My DH can still dress himself, feed himself and do a few other basics like emptying the trash but much of the day he spends sleeping because he has nothing else to do. He can’t use his computer much, has little interest in current events, doesn’t read much and has never been a TV watcher. He can’t work the TV controls even when he occasionally watches. I keep him occupied as much as possible with game playing, going for walks and going out to eat. I can’t spend all my time with him because I must do everything else to run a household including cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, bill paying etc. I don’t know what to do when he seems so bored.

jgreen · February 28

Hi @Barbie300

I think my DH is about same stage or maybe a little farther along. I have to do most everything.
‘DH does like YouTube videos so I usually have to set those up for him. Like you, I get him to do puzzles but I have to be close by or he will give up easily. Also go for walks with him.

At times I am thankful if he naps. Then I can get things done - cooking, cleaning, laundry, bill paying, etc. Not much ‘me time’ tho. If you have family, friends, or neighbors who ask if they can help, maybe they can come over and sit with DH for an hour or two. Our son steps in frequently to help give me a break.

Another thought is to find a home health aid to come in on a scheduled day or occasionally. I hear there is a program called the “Guide Program” where Medicare covers 80 hour os respite care annually. You might look into of that is available in your state.

Hope this helps.

M5M · February 28

My Dh can't do much for entertainment, he is legally blind and very unstable, doesn't draw or paint or read or whittle. BUT!…what he can do…..tear up packing boxes! He really feels useful when I ask him to tear up some boxes, and with the collection of Amazon items it seems there is often a good supply! It is good exercise for him, mostly sitting in a chair, and he feels better for contributing some helpfulness.

Sunfish47 · February 28

My DH also wants to help, always asking if I need help. Sees me cooking, or washing dishes/cleaning the counter, loading & unloading the laundry machines, always asking to help. But he’s not really able to safely complete a task anymore. It’s safest to hand him a broom and ask him to sweep, can’t break anything just sweeping and it’s a simple task - he’s not able to do it that well anymore, at least it keeps him occupied for awhile.
Oh after his laundry is dried, yes he can fold his clothes and put them in his dresser. But he can’t really fold towels anymore.
He mostly just watches a lot of tv, naps while the tv is on, puts food out for the cats, let’s the cats in and out the back door all day long, gets the mail when I ask him, and if asked walks the yard with a bag (1.5 acres) to pick up any bottles or trash. We are kind of rural so I like to get him out in the car once a day to a store or on an errand cuz he always wants to go somewhere. Every morning “where are we going today ?” Can’t do puzzles or read too well anymore. Can’t operate his laptop anymore, but thankfully it has a touch screen so I will bring up YouTube and he can still scroll thru the videos by himself fir an hour or so. Can’t use his cell phone anymore but if I bring up TikTok on it, he will watch for a long time and can even scroll thru the videos.

persevere · March 1

It’s tough Barbie. My DW can’t even do what your DH can do. And the days are about to get longer. I used to be able to take her out for rides or to eat but can’t even really do that anymore. I clean a lot. Good bit of it is picking up whatever she decides to move around. We take walks. I feed her. Do some cleaning. Take her to the bathroom 10 times a day. Do some cleaning - oh, did I say that lol. Try to get her to lay down some. Yeah, it’s a wonderful life….

SDianeL · March 1

I saw a video where the caregiver gave the PWD things to sort. Different colors of artificial sweetener. Had him put them in little trays. Dusting, folding laundry. Have you checked into adult daycare?

cavenson · March 1

My DH uses the Bissell Cordless Stick Vacuum daily, sometimes more than once a day. He’s using it right now and going through the whole house. Since it’s cordless, he can’t trip over a cord. It’s lightweight, and its height is similar to the cane he uses when we go off. Something else for him to do is use a motorized scooter in our 55+ neighborhood. He used to be able to take it out by himself, but after he left the neighborhood once I try to walk with him. Also, just the last time we took it out, I had to show him how to drive forward on it after we stopped to chat with a neighbor. So, I don’t know how much longer it will be a good activity for him. I appreciate everyone's ideas because it's a challenge to keep DH occupied with something that doesn't create more problems for us.

Call me Gram · March 2

I have a note app on my cell phone where I keep a running list of "tasks" that could be completed if DH needs something to do. My DH is still physically capable and mostly able to complete tasks independently, so my list may include things that your LWD is not able to do.

Full disclosure… I have been known to "create" a need for these tasks by mixing up a drawer of socks, unfolding clean towels and throwing them in a basket, or saving the junk mail to be shredded for times when DH wants to "help" me with whatever I am working on.

Here are some examples:

Fold towels or washcloths

Empty trash

Put silverware away

Sweep/vacuum

Dust

Rake leaves

Wipe kitchen counter

Break down cardboard boxes

Sort old photos

Shred junk mail or old papers

Match socks

Sort donation bin of clothing (by size, or article of clothing type)

Match up my mis-matched earrings and put in egg cartons

Sort/organize mixed decks of playing cards

Sort old crayons by color

Change sheets

Reload the coffee pods in our counter-top organizer

Clip coupons

Clean windows

Hose down patio furniture

Put an old jigsaw puzzle together to make sure all the pieces are there (for the grandkids)

How to keep DH occupied

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