Imaginary People in Our House
My DW sees imaginary people in our house at all hours. Right now at 10 AM she is talking to them and telling them to get out. She asks me ifi they are my friends and why I let them in.
I am at odds at how to deal with this every day and night occurrence. I welcome any input you may have to help me deal with this. how have you delt with this behavior?
Comments
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First thing is to talk to her neurologist and review the drugs she is on. Second is to ask them if there are any drugs which can control the behavior of.
If she has a psychologist, talk to them about the same thing. They are the drug experts. Best of luck to you.
There are caregiver groups in your area that can help you too.2 -
My DH used to deal with that. His neurologist asked him if he was bothered by them. He always answered, no. She said if they ever do she’d recommend a medication to help. We never found out what that medication was as he never needed it. He still asks me to look at things he sees, thankfully he’s never been disturbed by them. He used to tell his dr that he thought the people he saw in the house were angels watching over him.
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Hi @yardman49
I agree with @Gator1976 - there might be meds that can help.
My DH sometimes sees animals like kittens or birds, but not people. I saw a video by Teepa Snow who made a home visit one time because her patient’s husband said the same thing - his DW saw “girls in the garage”. When they went to the garage and turned on the light, Teepa and the husband saw their reflections in the car’s windshield! She advised the husband to get a window film to cut down on the glare, and also to cover windows or mirrors in the house. That may help in your case.
Another Dr. - Natalie Edmonds says to acknowledge the person’s hallucinations and then say something that will make your LO feel safe. Something like “there are people in the house? That’s not good. Here let me take care of this right now.” Then come back in the room and tell your DW that you escorted them out of the house and asked them to not come back until they are invited.
I hope one of more of these ideas help you.
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Delusions and hallucinations are common in dementia. Get in her reality. Fib if you must. Don’t argue with her or correct her. Tell her you took care of them. You will probably have to repeat the answer many times. If they disturb her talk to her doctor about meds. A Geriatric Psychiatrist is the best type of doctor to manage meds for dementia. Get a referral to one if you can. If you haven’t done so, read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which helped me after my husband’s diagnosis.
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I agree with Tonyac2. I have the same situation with my DW, she sees and talks to people on a daily basis. I just go along with it and not worry about it. You can simply distract her and engage in something else. I prefer not to use meds for this type of problem. The less meds, the better it is for everyone. Best of luck!
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My DW has 3 people she talks to regularly. A man and two women. I’ve asked her if they’re bothering her or scaring her. She says no. I’ve offered to get rid of them for her if they’re bothering her, she laughs and says no. When I don’t pay her enough attention and she’s mad at me (paying bills, cooking, etc) sometimes “they” tell her she can “go down there” meaning to leave and go stay with her brother in Florida (we’re in California), so she will create piles of her clothes in preparation for packing. When I see the piles I let her know how sad I’d be if she left and she then says she won’t go anywhere, and we have a bonding moment. I’ve told her she’s in charge and doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to do. She says she knows. But it didn’t start out this way. When they first started appearing I believe it really scared her and caused quite a bit of anxiety. I’ve learned it’s important to acknowledge what my DW is seeing, determine if they’re harmful to her in some way, and I’ve tried to make her comfortable telling me about them so I can monitor how it’s affecting her. Luckily so far it seems like they are friendly enough and they’re becoming part of the family. There was a period of time I was planning on testing her for uti, but since she’s able to share her interactions with them (and our caregiver) she’s much less anxious about them.
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my DW used to say she saw faces in the woods in back and saw my suit coat hanging in a tree out side our window. I finally realized she was ‘seeing’ scenes from the BBC series Midsomer Murders where they routinely showed killers peering thru foliage at their victims and one episode where heirs were hanging a suit of clothes in a tree to frighten an elderly relative. I stopped watching those and any other shows that were scary or spooky. She enjoys old Jay Leno headlines and funny videos. No more hallucinations.
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May I ask: What would you say/do when he asked you to look at the things he sees? This is exactly where I'm trying to develop a better path if possible. Thanks much.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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