DH and my constant sobbing

My DW’s journey is at about the same stage as your DH. So far she still goes to the bathroom to relieve herself. Most nights both of us get a good nights sleep. Yes I am younger than a lot of people here. Are you and I lucky that our LO can relieve themselves or that we can still get a fair amount of sleep? There’s nothing about this disease that makes me feel that I am lucky. I feel your hurt and wish none of us should be here and rather than lucky, maybe just glad and relieved that our LO’s can still do the things that we all take for granted. Stay with us here on this site for help and guidance as you go through this with your LO. ❤️

I am in the same situation. It’s amazing to me that my DH is oblivious to what is going on and doesn’t seem to notice when I sob. In a way I’m glad though bc he’s not getting upset as well. Nothing seems to affect him that is going on.

Regardless of the level of difficulty in caring for our LO, I don’t think any of us are blessed. We get to experience daily the loss of them - speech, skills, personality, conversation, partnership, on and on. It is a very sad long goodbye. When I cry it’s most often due to losing my DH in real time. I overheard my coworker calling his wife babe, and I sat at my desk bawling like a baby. My DH used to call me that. I miss him so much yet he’s right in front of me.

There is nothing good about dementia, there is nothing to be grateful for, there are just different levels and different journeys. My tears flow so much and so often at the most compromising times I cannot control them. My DH no longer sees my tears. I have decided that I am mourning the loss of my wonderful DH of 54 years while physically he is still here. I sometimes wonder if I will have any tears left when he finally rests in peace or will I just be left with exhausted abandon. It’s so cruel. A journey of discovery that we could all do without. But I discovered something during 2024 and a little beyond for 15 months I wrote short emotionally charged poems. It was something I couldn’t control. I then spent time setting them up in A5 format with headers and footers, one special photo of my DH on the front and titled ‘A Very Personal Journey’ I wept and cried while hand writing the poems, I wept and cried while I retyped them and set them up, I wept and cried when I took them to a printer. I was amazed when I finally got home and looked at what I had written and created. It’s like an emotional journal and an emotional journey. I didn’t want to loose my strong feelings if and when I loose my beautiful man. Does this make sense? I weep and cry when I read them now and it helps me to understand why I feel so sad.

who told you that you should feel all those things( grateful, blessed, lucky)? Whomever they were, they were wrong. You feel what you feel…. And whatever that is is what’s appropriate for you.

Your life has been turned upside down, inside-out, and shoved into an ever shrinking box. If you feel repressed, put-upon, frustrated, sad, angry, trapped… then none of us are surprised about that and we aren’t looking at you weird either. We are here for you - vent away, we won’t judge you. We will support you and offer advice and honesty.