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Learning what not to do

Ninnette8
Ninnette8 Member Posts: 1 Member
in Caring For a Spouse or Partner
My husband has alzheimers. I just need a place to get good advice as to how to handle certain situations

Comments

  • Groovy's Girl
    Groovy's Girl Member Posts: 7
    25 Care Reactions First Comment First Anniversary
    Member

    What is your first concern?

  • blacksparky
    blacksparky Member Posts: 210
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    Sorry to hear your news about your DH. Stay here to get answers to all your questions. As you and your DH travel through this terrible journey there will be many people here that have already gone through what you are going through. I have had so much support and help from everyone here for the past couple of years on our journey. We’re here to help you and your journey.

  • jgreen
    jgreen Member Posts: 283
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    Member

    Welcome, @Ninnette8 Glad you found us though sorry you have to be here.

    A couple of recommendations for you:

    Research and read up on this terrible disease. A good resource is “The 36-Hour Day” and I refer to it often. Some health professionals you can find online are Tam Cummings, Teepa Snow, Natalie Edmonds, and Camille Sinclair. All have great videos and tip sheets - to help you “handle certain situations”.

    If you haven’t already, hire an Elder Care Attorney. You need to get your legal affairs in order - durable power of attorney (for you and DH), Healthcare Surrogate, HIPPA, and perhaps will/trusts. You want to ensure your assets are protected.

    Here is an assessment tool from Tam Cummings’ website. It can help you ‘guesstimate’ what stage your DH is in. Knowing what to look for and expect can sometimes help you with those situations.

    Dementia Behavioral Assessment.pdf

    And lastly, there is a term you should know called anosognosia - the inability to understand one has a cognitive disability. That means you can’t reason with your DH or explain things to him. He will either think nothing is wrong with himself or not understand. You are going to learn to meet him in his ‘reality’. Hard to do!

    Come back often and let us know how you are doing. Hugs!

  • Jeff H
    Jeff H Member Posts: 115
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    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75635/learning-what-not-to-do

    Ask away Ninnette8 

    I'm sorry you are here but I'm glad you found us. We are all here to help you and guide you as best we can.

  • TMills
    TMills Member Posts: 2
    Tenth Anniversary First Comment
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75635/learning-what-not-to-do

    I'm in similar situation and I'm glad I found this site. My DH understands he's got the mix of vascular dementia and alzheimers. I'm not sure how frank to be. Are you able to discuss most challenges w your husband or does he realize what's happening to him? Best wishes, TM

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 962
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    We are here for you. It was a good day when I found this group, I just didn’t realize it at first.

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 739
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    This site has been my lifesaver, kindness and care plus knowledge I found much more than the medical profession could give.

  • Groovy's Girl
    Groovy's Girl Member Posts: 7
    25 Care Reactions First Comment First Anniversary
    Member

    My husband also has anosognosia…I was using the term "oblivious".

    I am currently reading the book Creating Moments of Joy by Jolene Brackey.

    I dress him, shower with him, take him to the bathroom periodically to (hopefully) pee. He used to be able to do that himself reliably, but now he usually sits down too late. I've learned what kind of things I can say to get things done for him. Some nights, he is up walking around for hours.

    The way I cope is to think of him as a toddler with that same level of understanding and communication.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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