Delusions

Geot · March 28

My DW just tried calling her dead Father and when the recording said this number is no longer in service she began rapid firing the "why" questions to me. I couldn't think fast enough so I just said I had to go to the bathroom and will be right back. I needed a little time to get my thoughts together. After returning she was still dialing the number and I was still speechless so I just said I'm not sure why this is happening. She is now on the phone asking her brother if he has heard form Dad….from what I can hear he is just going along with her rather than saying their Father is dead. This is not going to be a good day for sure.

Maru · March 28

I would say that this is not a delusion but rather that piece of memory has been lost. Rather than causing her pain and telling her that her father is dead, tell a fib. Maybe something like "Dad now has an unlisted number." Fibbing becomes necessary when dealing with LOs with dementia.

White Crane · March 28

Maru is right. This calls for a fiblet. I have had to learn to do this in order to keep from causing my DH unnecessary grief and anxiety. You could tell her that her father recently changed numbers and you don't have the new one yet. Tell her you will find out what it is and then suggest that you go for a walk or have a cookie or whatever seems appropriate to distract and redirect her. Try to stay calm and smile.

jgreen · March 28

Hi, @Geot

Here is a video that may answer your question and give some tips on how to answer your LO:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtmNoscy3s4

Geot · March 29

Sometimes I feel that just going along with my DW delusion of calling me Dad just seems to make it MORE real to her and she rarely now sees me as her husband. She used to bounce back and forth but now I am her dad most of the time and she is upset as to why her husband has left. She even ask me today if her husband has given me his clothes to wear and why is his car still in the driveway and he is not here. Just when I think I have come up with the right answers to her delusions, she delivers me another curve ball. Most days I can't wait to put her to bed just to get some time to just wind down….and I do feel guilty for that.

yardman49 · March 31

My DW asks for her father multiple times per day and evening. In reality this is a made-up father as her real father passed away 13 years ago. I questioned her about this father a couple of times in the past and she responded with aggressive caustic responses so I let her be and go along with this to keep the peace. No harm done. I just go along with it as it is her reality at stake.

jfkoc · March 31

You are now in the land of pretend….you are the one who must adjust…this can (at times) be pleasant.

Delusions

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