Feeling alone

Kiki87 · April 6

Hello, I'm new here. Part time care giver for my mom, my best friend. I feel so alone in my grief. I know I'm not but this has been the hardest thing I've ever gone through and it almost feels like no one around me even notices. I feel like my family (dad & brother) and I are so isolated. No one ever really checks in on us, or drops off meals or anything. And I know everyone is going through their own things in life but I don't know I just want to cry all the time. I love my mom so much. This fugging sucks and I'm so sad.

Jeff H · April 6

I am so sorry you are going through this. We all are. You are not alone. Please use this forum to post anything at any time.

Free 24/7 Alzheimer’s & Dementia Helpline | Call 800.272.3900

persevere · April 6

My wife's sister lives 4 doors up from us. They both were raised catholic and went to only catholic schools growing up. My wife was very devoted. Her sister puts on a good show. No visit. No call. This on the highest of holidays. If we see her more than once a week it's only by accident. What a phony. She told our helper the other day that her sister doesn't know her anymore. I guess that makes it ok in her small mind.

SheSheSoul · April 6

We are in the same boat. I’m on this site now looking for someone to connect with that can understand my pain. Not even the “family” really helps out a lot. It’s just my brothers (2) and I along with my dad as my mom’s main caregiver. Seems like no one truly understands being a caregiver and watching their favorite person waste away while you can do nothing. I started weekly therapy to keep my head above water. I also started taking my own anxiety med. Not sure where you are located but if you would like to vent to me we could connect outside of this forum on an easier social media platform. I’m fighting to get back to happy too.

harshedbuzz · April 6

@Kiki87

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here but pleased you found this place.

The lack of understanding and support is why spaces like this and IRL support groups are so important. Come often— we're your people for now.

The grief you are feeling is called anticipatory grief.

https://www.verywellhealth.com/understanding-anticipatory-grief-and-symptoms-2248855

YMMV, but I found medication for anxiety/depression helpful when this was impacting me with others.

HB

Maru · April 6

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75740/feeling-alone

Glad that you have found this site. The sad reality is that no one can fully appreciate the grief that sometimes overwhelms one who loves a person with dementia. That person can look just fine, act just fine, talk just fine for years so non-caretakers really get it. As a caretaker, even part time, you will see your mom's changes and miss the relationship you had with her. Look for an Alz support group, go to therapy, get on anti-anxiety meds…take care of yourself. ditto all that for your dad and brother because I am sure that they are grieving as well. Hang in there. You are not alone.