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Fears in Stage 8

jehjeh
jehjeh Member Posts: 178
100 Comments 100 Care Reactions 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Likes
Member
in Supporting Those Who Have Lost Someone

I'm dealing with something i haven't seen addressed here and just wonder if anyone else has experienced the kind of fears I'm feeling?

I have irrational fears for my health, for my safety and for my financial stability.

I'm imagining the worst when I feel a new pain or lump…

I triple check to be sure appliances are turned off, and doors locked when leaving the house or going to bed.

I check and double check bank accounts daily to make sure I'm not over spending.

I have no reasonable explanation since I took care of all these things for myself, my husband, even my parents and sister when they grew older. Why, now, when it's only me, am I suddenly fearful? There was no one to care for me before so it's not like I've lost a safety net. I just wish I could get these fears out of my head.

Comments

  • sherryandwilliam
    sherryandwilliam Member Posts: 63
    100 Care Reactions 25 Likes 10 Comments First Anniversary
    Member

    I lost my husband alzheimer 3 weeks ago. I think our brains are so scrambled from the experience of being constantly consumed with taking care of someone we have a huge void now and the mind wanders. I am obsessing about what caused his rapid decline and I have so much free time that I recently didnt I am replacing it with something else. Hopefully you get past that stage. Maybe fear of being completely alone?

  • Eloise0304
    Eloise0304 Member Posts: 143
    100 Comments 100 Care Reactions 5 Insightfuls Reactions 5 Likes
    Member

    It is brain fog, I think..I am now fearful of Everything since my LO passed six months ago. I retrace my steps, check my accounts, make sure I locked my car, sometimes multiple times. Everything takes on a new dynamic, as my world is upside down. You are not alone, that is for sure

  • jgreen
    jgreen Member Posts: 303
    250 Likes 100 Care Reactions 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Comments
    Member

    Hi, @jehjeh So sorry you are dealing with this alone. You are in my prayers.

    I am not where you are as my DH probably in late stage 5. I can relate to your mind buzzing with all kinds of ‘what ifs’ and ‘how can I….’ These thoughts with me constantly but especially at night when trying to sleep/rest. A dear friend advised me to seek therapy and meds for anxiety and I made the plunge about a month ago. I am taking a low dose anti anxiety med prescribed by a psychiatric nurse practitioner and she also recommended counseling. I saw counselor for first time in my life yesterday and found her quite knowledgeable about dementia and caregiver stress. She had several tips and also agreed with the low dose meds. One tip is called Progessive muscle relaxation - look it up online. It is a type of meditation that you can use if you feel you are getting in over your head with worry/fear.

    Grief is a form of stress/anxiety and you might want to consider a mental health consult. I consulted my insurance (Medicare) and found local organization that accepted Medicare. Took a chance on the psych nurse practitioner they said was accepting patients and was very fortunate to have one that I hit it off with. If you decide to go this route I hope you have the same luck. Just don’t try to do this alone! There are caring professionals out there who will be there for you.

    Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing. We care!

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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