Depressed and venting

rplourde50 · April 15

My DW is getting worse fast. She doesn’t remember what happened five minutes ago. Plus, she’s understandably depressed. I’m at a loss to help her mood so I’m depressed, too, and just want to sit in bed and watch TV to wind us both down. I don’t expect miracles. Just venting here. I appreciate the group.

Jeff H · April 15

Have you seen a neurologist for medications for depression? For both of you. Hang in there.

sfrsythe · April 15

I’m sorry and can emphasize. I don’t know what stage my husband is at. I just know he’s deteriorating faster than I thought. Thank you for sharing. You are not alone! I’m send big hugs that you get peace during all these processes.

jgreen · April 15

Dear @rplourde50 and @sfrsythe

Here is an assessment tool from Tam Cummings’ website. You can ‘guesstimate’ the stage of your LOs:

Dementia Behavioral Assessment.pdf

Please understand that eventually your LOs will read your emotions and react to those emotions more so than to the words you are saying. Kind of like a newborn having strong reactions when the parent is stressed or anxious. So your ‘depression’ is coming through to your LO. It is easy to say ‘remain calm’ but to do so is quite hard, particularly when you are already exhausted and at your wits end. I agree with @Jeff H Meds for the patient and each of you might help. They are helping me (one month on low dose anti-anxiety meds) and I can see difference in me and my DH.

Hang in there!

Stan2 · April 16

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75817/depressed-and-venting

My DW suffered from depression even before the dementia and her short term memory is mostly gone as well. She sees a behavior therapist (psychiatrist) for her depression and we seem to have found a workable med and dosage. She is of course depressed when she thinks about her situation but we seem to have a fairly normal existence most of the time. I try very hard to keep up a positive attitude because she will feel my impatience or frustration. We try to only do things that she enjoys and that will entertain her. Its a struggle but we're going into our 4th yr now and just keep plugging along.

rplourde50 · April 16

we have plenty of meds. They do mitigate but not obliterate…

rplourde50 · April 16

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/270440#Comment_270440

same here, bro.

mrsdee13 · April 16

I must agree, I also got on a low dose of anxiety meds. It's very difficult being a caretaker with this disease. My DH never accepted his diagnosis. I still worked and finally got him into the adult day care program. That helped out a lot, but every night it was mostly the same challenges. He had frontal Lobe dementia, which is aggressive, and he had a light stroke at the end of September. After that, I had to admit him to a long-term care facility. He was no longer mobile. I couldn't get in-home care at night, and I wasn't qualified or able to care for him. It was hard making that decision, but he adjusted fairly quickly. I miss him daily, but I have some comfort and peace that I did everything possible, and he did receive good care. Hang in there, and unfortunately, it doesn't get easier. I pray for your strength.

Depressed and venting

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