Musical Chairs Driving us INSANE!

BabyLee

I live with and care for my mom (94) and developmentally disabled older sister. I have no help, and none will be available anytime soon. Same as many of you I'm sure.

OK, so about three years ago, we bought a really nice, comfortable, reclining chair for my mom. This replaced an older, less comfortable reclining chair she had been using. She gave the old one to my sis. Both were happy.

About 6ish weeks ago however, mom begins to look at the older chair and grumble that she wants to: sit in "my" chair. She keeps this up until we relent. It is a minor hassle to switch them, but becomes unbearable over time. The move involves sis and myself interrupting what we happen to be doing at the time, putting our stuff down, helping mom to the other chair, grabbing her blanket, pillow, coffee mug, and what not, and carrying them over. My sister does the same with her own stuff (blanket, pillow, crayons, etc.).

After a minute or two (literally), my mom decides she isn't comfortable and wants to move back. Reverse moving procedure. After a few minutes, "I want to sit in  my chair". Repeat. Again. This goes for 2 -3 hours.

I have tried explaining it to her, getting angry, saying no, distracting her, etc. Weird it just seemed to come out of the blue. Any tips???

andrew250

That does sound frustrating. How about everyone gets a new chair, and they're all identical? Maybe that's not feasible. How about slip covers or blankets or something to make them seem less different in the first place? Or at least so that neither chair is the old or new one.

abc123

You are going to wear yourself out physically if you have to keep moving her back and forth. I'm more worried about you getting hurt. I wish I had a good suggestion. Maybe Andrew's idea would work. Make the chairs look alike and put them closer together. I wish you luck!

sandwichone123

One thing to try might be a cover in another color so it doesn't look like what she remembers as "her" chair. Perhaps changing its location if it's where it was when she used it would help too.

Marta

Why does your mother get her way to the detriment of others in the household?  You are afraid you will upset her and will have to deal with the fallout?  Can the fallout be any worse than what you are dealing with now?  Sometimes you just have to put your foot down, as with a toddler. Try it.. you may be surprised at how she reacts.

You and your sister matter, too!

MN Chickadee

Your Mom's brain and ability to be reasoned with is broken, so to try that is futile. You can explain all day but it won't make sense to her or be remembered 5 minutes later. That's what her disease does to her and it's no one's fault. This is just one of those things you will have to find a creative work-around. Either replace the old chair or put a slip cover on it so she wont recognize it. If that doesn't do it, find a way to make moving their stuff easier. Remember it is just a phase and it will pass; none of these irritating things our LOs do last forever and often are just a blip on the radar in the long run.