HELP! Mom won't use walker

TK67

My 77 year old mother, who lives with me and who has late stage dementia, is very off balance, has a drop foot and a vascular problem in the same leg.  She has fallen twice in my house, just walking from one room to the other, and each time I've had to take her to the hospital for CT scans and stitches.  I know it won't be long until she probably needs a wheel chair. My sister and I got her a push/rolling walker to help her get around, however, she doesn't remember to use it....sometimes even refuses.  We have to tell her to use it 50 times a day!  If we remind her too many times in one day she gets angry with us and tells us she's tired of us reminding her.  Today she even slapped my hands away when I tried to help her get back to her walker because she wasn't using it and was hanging on to the kitchen cabinet.  

So, what suggestions do you have to keep her safe in the house?  I'm worried that if I have to take her to the hospital a 3rd time with another head injury that I'll be forced to put her in a nursing home.  We are trying so hard to avoid putting her in a nursing/memory care unit!

Marta

Your Mom’s brain is broken, especially the part that lays down new memories, which typically dies first in AD. Do not expect her to retain new information, such as needing to use a walker. 

It is time for a wheelchair. She will try to get out of the wheelchair. You can Google hip protectors. You can make sure she has had a bone density scan, and if she has osteoporosis,  that it is treated with bone-building medication (not just calcium and vitamin D3). Beyond that, other than 24/7 supervision, it is impossible to keep her from falling. 

My mother fractured a hip while I was holding on to her walker to help guide her. She let go and fell backwards.

zauberflote

Marta may be right about it being time for a wheelchair. My mom had numerous falls outdoors walking while she lived independently-- ER visits but no damage done, amazingly, but did not become frail-ish until maybe 6-8 months before she moved to AL. Shortly after that mive she tripped backwards over the border between carpet and flooring, fractured a lumbar vertebra, was given a walker and a torso-cage type brace which was so poorly fitted that she couldn't really use the walker properly. I don't recall any falls at AL, and she was allowed to go for walks outside on the busted-up pavement of the campus road system. She never fell outside, or if she did she never told anybody! FF to MC in my city. Of the three falls that I have a good memory of, one was from getting out of bed and two were inside her walker. And then there was one final one which so far as anyone could tell was because she went to the bathroom without the walker. (Old facility, tiny non-handicap half baths grandfathered in) without her walker. I believe that was the final straw for wheelchair use. 

So falls can happen anyway, and as I found after my second hip replacement, some houses just aren't built for walker use-- too many corners in regulation 1970's doorways. 

I hope you can get this worked out to your satisfaction!

Cynbar

If a big part of the problem is she forgets to use the walker, you could get a bed/chair alarm. It's easily found on Amazon and I assume other places, has an alarm or sometimes music which goes off when she tries to get up. That would alert you so you could remind her, and for some people the alarm is enough to jog their memory to reach for the walker. Failing that, it would give you time to bring the wheelchair over before she takes off and falls. This is what a nursing facility would do. However, you say she resists your reminders ---- that is a bigger problem. As mentioned above, her brain is broken --- you can't reason with her. You could try the reward system, once you've reminded her offer her something if she'll cooperate. Other posters are right, falls are difficult to prevent when the cognitive abilities just aren't there.

Rescue mom

We went through this with my mom. It is so very difficult when they have lost the cognitive skills but are still somewhat mobile. Mine did not have vascular dementia, nor any muscular problems, and everybody is different. But for us, this is what worked: 

First, falls can happen with people standing two inches away. Even if you watch 24/7–which most people cannot—they can still fall. It happens very fast, even with people watching. Total prevention would probably mean being attached to her constantly. You try to do the best you can. 

With my mom, we put the walker right by, or in front of, the chair she sat in. On days when she seemed more mobile, they would put it in front of the door. And Caregivers watched for her, and insist that she use it. She would absolutely get angry, and as you say, slap their hands away. They still insisted  that she use it. She could not go anywhere without using it. (When it came to toilet breaks, we did sometimes let that go, but tried hard with the walker). Eventually it sank in, but she was largely prevented from moving otherwise, to the extent possible. She came to use it all the time,without reminders, but it took a few months of really close supervision. But OTOH, yours may have muscular problems that mean this can’t work.

dayn2nite2

She should be in a wheelchair.

RobOT

TK67, this is a truly knotty problem.  First off, if she doesn't like the walker, she's not going to like a wheelchair any better.  There's ways to safely keep someone seated in a wheelchair, but there are other problems inherent with the use of a wheelchair.  If she has a vascular issue in her leg, the pressure along the underside of her leg from being seated can make the problem worse.  That can be solved by elevating the footrest, but she has to keep that foot on the footrest.  And on and on.  My point is if you want a wheelchair for her, get her evaluated and fitted by a physical therapist, don't just go out and buy a wheelchair.  Hope you can find a comfortable answer for her.