Laundry???

janeymack

Never thought I would say this, but my husband won't stop doing the laundry! One towel or thirty, after he changes ALL the settings (!!!!) he's turning on that machine, so help me! lol

M1

I get it Janeymack, my partner is obsessed with cleaning (she was always pretty OCD about it even pre-dementia).  BUT:  watch carefully about what he's putting in the machine--we've had some issues with not putting detergent in the right place or putting softener in instead of detergent, things like that.  There are locks you can get I think, but we haven't gotten to that point yet.  Fortunately my partner's biggest obsession is vacuuming and so far that's been pretty harmless.  Using GooGone instead of Windex is very messy however.

June45

Yikes, Janey -- I can only imagine your water/power bill; not to even mention the possible washing machine repair bills!!! Maybe you can "break it"...turn off the breaker! 

French

I knew that two years ago. They need occupation and want to help.

My partner was constantly doing the dishes. Just put a glass in the sink, he would immediately wash it with a lot of dishwashing product and water. Now he put his glasses in the sink sometimes wash them (not really washed, with no product).

Joe C.

Janey, I can send over some of our laundry.

June45

Joe, I want M1's partner to come over and vacuum our house!

janeymack

June45 - we have solar power and a well/septic, and, thankfully, the washer is a newer, low water use model. I have no idea if he uses soap and/or soften, but he seems quite fond of choosing "softener" option. So far, the most dangerous situations have involved one red item with my new white dishtowels!

I used to use a sign that said, in big letters, "NO!". I might have to make a new one.

June45

Janeymack -- good to know that the power and water meters aren't spinning but you might just have to learn to like pink dishtowels, softened of course!

jfkoc

My husband put Depends in the washer and dryer. He was helping so what could I say.

ElaineD

My husband does the dishes.  We don't have a dishwasher in our apartment and he's been preferring to do dishes 'by hand' for a long time.

My biggest problem is that he doesn't see the egg stuck on the fork, or the rings in the cups.  So I have to examine things before I use them.  If something is dirty, I just put it to soak in the sink and look for clean dishes.

Everyone needs work to make them useful.  I'm so disabled I cannot do much of anything that I used to do.  I am some times discouraged that I don't contribute much more than ordering things from Amazon.  

ElaineD

M1

June45 I'll see if she wants to hire out!!! She was a custom builder professionally and ran very tidy job sites-I never thought anybody died wishing they had done more housework but may have to rethink that...

CStrope

My DH is also obsessed with doing the laundry!  Between that and picking up dog poop in the yard he's got his days pretty filled!

Crushed

DW never learned how to use either the laundry or the oven in our married life. 

But after she got sick I had to do laundry every day or she would put away the dirty clothes into the dresser.  At one time she could still load the dishwasher but we had to have a rule she could only load it from the sink after I unloaded the clean dishes. 

 On trips her clothes for the day would "magically" appear on the bed.  We always took showers together  but she could stand for for 20 minutes afterwards warming herself with a hair dryer (she burned out more than one) I would put out her clothes and pack away anything else.  I would always tell her "Those are the clothes you picked out"  "OK" she would say

 In her career she was a medical computer genius.  She built my first computer in 1980 on the kitchen table.    In 2012 We agreed to have "separate" computers.  She would change the settings on her computer and be unable to get it back to normal.   I had a simple way to reset it back to normal. She sent her last email in 2014. Today I play chess on her laptop. It still calls me by her name. 

janeymack

CStrope - YES! Dog poop! That's his number 1 (or, sb #2? lol) activity. Poop, laundry, and rearranging EVERY item that crosses his path, including all boxes in storage in the basement or attic; they must be opened and the contents put in special places or displayed somewhere.

All of this reminds me to ask those of you who've tread this path before - Did your companion's neuro prescribe anything to calm this restlessness and need for continuous activity? I made an appointment and asked for something to calm him down. The first words out of the doc's mouth were, "Janeymack says your restless activity bothers her. Do you know why she would say that?" I was floored since I had written a LONG note describing the behavior in detail, so obviously I expected confidentiality! It made me realize that H is her patient and she is putting him first. H responded that he likes to keep busy and has a lot of work to do! She did not prescribe anything.

M1

Wow Janeymack that's really disappointing. There would have been so many other ways for the doc to handle that....I take it she's not your doc too?

janeymack

M1 - No, it's H's neurologist. But, I have medical DPOA that I provided with my note. I even spoke privately to the receptionist when I handed her the note and copy of the DPOA and asked that the doc read my note before she saw us (I always accompany H during his neuro appointments). H scored 2/30 on the MoCA test during this appointment. I honestly can't come up with any reason to continue seeing this doc in the future. H is not going to get better and she is going to only prescribe meds if H thinks he needs them? What's the point?

M1

Agree completely. Maybe you'll have better luck with his primary care or a Geri psych. Sounds completely inappropriate to me....

abc123

Janeymack, I hope you find a doc that you both like. I think she was totally out of line. Her behavior makes me think she has never spent any length of time with a PWD.

abc123

In regards to LO's wanting to help and needing to stay busy, I was reminded of my Grannie. She needed a purpose and liked washing dishes which she did very well! Clean as a whistle. Her problem was drying and putting away. Back then, the lite weight Corel dishes were popular. She broke so many dishes. I think Mom went through 3 sets while Grannie was still living there. My Mom is just the opposite, a complete opposite. She doesn't feel the need to do anything at all. She hasn't done house work in years. She just sort of checked out all at once. My Dad does everything. She thinks she still runs the house and will get angry if anyone says different. She sleeps, eats, stares at the TV and is into taking baths without soap of course. Dad said she took 5 baths last night. They were here recently and after her first bath of the day I would make a big X over the tub with duct tape. She would get mad because the tub was broken. But it cut down on the excessive number of baths she was taking and the amount of laundry I had to do. Everyone's journey truly is different.