End of life stage for dad

John coles

I’ve been by my dad side threw this long journey of Alzheimer’s...

In the beginning it wasn’t that bad but I would come see him daily at future care in md and notice small things but wasn’t that bad... over time he been bed bound had strokes his leg is contracted poor circulation of blood flow to the leg they believe it should be amputated but leave it be because he would make it threw the surgery..... threw the padimic I was unable to see him daily and come feed him recently reached out to cooperate about the issue and am able to come spend time with him daily now when I first went I’m he lost so much weight even now he eats small portions and is down to 115 in weight ....it could be any day now and I get so upset when I know he could eat more it truly hurts to see him like this daily....

Stuck in the middle

I'm sorry, John.  I have been there with both parents and I feel for you.

John coles

Yes thank you soooo much .... truely lost but I believe in god my dad never really was religious and being the Christian I am it concerns me also ... I took away the music he listens to such as Led Zeppelin and earth wind fire and replaced it with GOD MUSIC took the tv away and replaced it with messages threw sermons and we sit and both learn about god .....the fact that he should have honestly been gone and still here to truely a testament for god mercy and grace I truely believe god has him here because he not done with him learning about god ... for someone to ignore god there whole life and not wanna talk about god in early stages and in the end tell me he wanna learn more about god before he goes ....simply amazing how god works .....makes me wake up and gives me strength to keep pushing forward for my family.....

zauberflote

John, I am sorry your dad is in the last stages, but I'm glad he has you and you're allowed to see him daily!

It sounds like your dad is in my generation, liking Led Zeppelin. My mom, who died at 92  last winter, was a woman of strong faith, and a classical musician and music lover. She had very little wrong with her physically except old age, but her brain was taken by dementia. Toward the end she liked to hear hymns, and some classical music accompanying a nature video. Her favorite thing to be read (until she didn't have the capacity to be read to) was a book of short homilies by a pastor/theologian. 

Speaking of God not being done with your dad-- I believe that the last three years and particularly the last few months of Mom's life were for bro and me to learn from, not her. She was ready to go once she stopped enjoying any part of life at all, but she outlived that point by about 4 months. Certainly she was being perfected in her spirit, but it was our brains which had to take the lesson of shaping. Don't discount that in your own case. I think one thing I watched happen was "obedience unto death". It wasn't easy. But she is free and whole now. 

abc123

Hello John, I'm also sorry that your Dad is so far along. I do think it's special that you get to spend time with him.

feudman

Good for you John...so glad you can finally be with him. I believe that even if you forsake God during most of your life, you can still accept Christ as your savior right up until your last breath. And with your guidance, perhaps he will.

P.S. Maybe not fair to deprive him entirely if he's a "Led-Head." What's the harm in a cut or two from "Houses of the Holy"? Or "Stairway to Heaven"?

Jane Smith

John, I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. 

Is he on hospice?  If not I’d get him on right away as they can be of great help to him and to you.

Wilted Daughter

I understand this is very difficult for you. When my dad stopped eating, while visiting mom would take ice cream and other things on his tray and mix it up then feed him. He would open his mouth and eat like a child, but would not pick up the food to feed himself. Sounds as if  your dad may be past this stage. No matter how bad is looks/seems try to keep hoping and remember backwards not forwards. 

My heart and prayers go out to you and your family wishing you peace and acceptance/contentment. May you remember the good things more than you think about the bad. 

vinm134

Music can be calming, mood lifting, and also sad.  I bought my mother amazon alexa and we play oldies as well as contemporary music.  Please let him listen to the music he would have liked as well as other uplifting songs.  My mother loves to listen to the music.  We play smile a little smile for me Rosemarie Rosemarie by Flying Machine.  It makes her smile and it makes me cry a little because we experienced a loss recently. 

Quilting brings calm

It takes about 30 seconds for someone to internally ( in their head silently) profess their belief in God and become a Christian.  You father has probably done that based on what you have posted.  Secular music is not necessarily evil.  Please allow him to listen to what  he wants to.  It sounds like he is bedridden and unable to make his preferences become reality without your help.

DaddyDaugher66

I know these are difficult times but hang in there.  Although I have a brother, Im the primary for my Dad.  Its been difficult as well because of unable to see him with the pandemic.  Luckily I have Alexa show and I was able to place one in his room.  Ive noticed he has not been as thrilled when I call him, but at least he still remembers who I am.  Try to interact with you Dad with sharing some of the pleasant times he had or even the great times you had with him.  Even if you think he doesnt recall these times I would speak to him about it any way.