Spoon theory

Mackiamoose

Warm greetings. This is my first post. My LO is not yet diagnosed and will resist it. I read an article about spoons representing energy to be spent in a day. I’m trying it myself to see if it catches on. Does anyone else have any experience with using spoons to deal with routine or fatigue? Thank you, kind people.

amicrazytoo

Welcome to the forum, lots of great people, information and advice. Also a great place to vent. I personally have never heard of "spoons" for any type of therapy. I'm looking forward to hearing what others have to say.

M1

Hi and welcome. I think Spoon Theory is just a way of conceptualizing that we all have limited energy and tend to fatigue, physically and mentally, each day. But if you find it helpful, go for it.

LadyTexan

A former therapist explained the spoon theory to me. She said imagine you have 20 spoons worth of energy every day. Some tasks take more spoons of energy than others. I get to choose how I use my spoons of energy.

It was a helpful concept for me because I frequently spent spoons of energy on low priority tasks. For example, just yesterday I was shopping at a craft store and the employees stocking the shelves were using inappropriate language and complaining about their work. My first reaction was to inform store management of the offensive language so the employees could be coached accordingly. However, I knew when I returned home I would be cleaning up poop, doing laundry and caring for my husband. Those caregiving activities are where I choose to spend my spoons.

So when I work myself into worry about things that I cannot change or are not a priority I ask myself, "Is that how I want to use my spoons of energy?"

LadyTexan

I also use the spoon theory to plan out my responsibilities. As an example, today I need to talk to an insurance company. I know from experience I usually use a lot of spoons of energy finding documents, explaining the situation and hoping for a favorable decision.

This is not a responsibility I want to face when I am low on spoons, so I am about to dive in on that activity before my spoons are depleted.

It works for me (when I remember to think about it).

Another benefit is it reminds me that my energy is limited. That is comforting to know when I am worn out, even though I have more to accomplish, I remind myself I am a human and can only do so much each day.

mrl

I use spoons from the freezer to take the swelling out of my eyes from crying...just saying. 

Welcome to our group,

m

Mackiamoose

I feel ya

Paul&Me

Lady Texan explained it well. I first heard of it from my niece who has a chronic and often painful genetic disorder. Many of my family members have the disorder (me too) but it has affected her greatly. It's a type of shortcut, internally for thought like LT explained, and also for telling family members she just doesn't have the energy left to do something. In her case, she spends a spoon to get out of bed, two or more for getting a shower, one for getting dressed, etc.

As a caregiver we'll have to make choices on what is important and what to let go of. If my floors aren't swept on time, they'll be done sooner or later. I had to do something that Paul would obsess about until I do. Stated simply: choose your battles, only it's choose your energy drainers.

Mackiamoose

Thanks! Good to hear encouragement.

Beachfan

Long ago, when I was a supervisor for special education teachers, I had the opportunity to hear an inspirational speaker on stress management.  I engaged him twice to present in-service programs for staff in our district and county schools.   He was fantastic, moving, and his message was unforgettable.  He spoke about giving away "pieces of your pie" throughout the day until you had no pie left, having wasted it on non-essential problems.  For years afterward, I would hear teachers remark to each other, "Don't bother me now; I have no pie left!" (Exactly like the spoons, only different.)

His name was Roger Mellott; he became a corporate consultant for NASA and sadly, he passed suddenly in his sleep at age 55, in 2006, while in the midst of delivering a two day seminar for NASA staff.  I have often thought about ordering his tapes on Amazon, before they are no longer available.  

Mackiamoose

Warm greetings. My LO has a slew of symptoms and has mentioned once that she is afraid she has Alzheimer’s. She especially has short term memory challenges. She has not been diagnosed and I am not sure what to do in this pre stage. Has anyone else navigated this so early in the game?

Ed1937

Hello Mack. Welcome aboard. Sorry you are dealing with this. The first thing you should do is to have her tested. There are many conditions that can mimic the symptoms of dementia, and they may be treatable. It is not beyond the realm of possibilities that they could find something that could be easily treated, and the symptoms could disappear. Good luck to you.

mrl

Lynn your priceless I rattle the beads for you every night!

Love,

Michele

​NorthWoods

Spoon theory has become a short hand in my family. If someone says, “I’m out of spoons.” it’s accepted without question that they are done with whatever activity. Likewise “it’s not worth the spoons” never gets an argument. In our case it started because of chronic illness but is now used more broadly. It is an excellent metaphor.  There is a good write up here https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/