Every solo caretaker needs a buddy

Crushed

I was a scuba diver for many years. Divers dive in "buddy pairs" and each diver carries spare equipment for the buddy.   I was once diving in Egypt with English paraplegic divers.  They would dive in "threes" since the paraplegic could not always reach or help the the buddy divers.  Sometimes they recruited "spare divers" from the boat as the third person.  

Dementia caretaking is exactly the same.   Everyone needs a third person as a buddy. (or system or something)  When DW gave me grief over the third person I told her I would not be her caretaker unless I had someone who could take car of me in an emergency.       
We had this out very bluntly several times.  

So who takes care of YOU??

Ed1937

I didn't know that diving was something a paraplegic could do. Learned something new today.

For now, I take care of myself. But I have kids who I can count on if needed. One daughter especially helps me when I have a problem with my wife.

Lills

I text my sister every morning.  If she doesn't receive my text by 8:00 a.m., she'll call me.  We've done this for over a year now.

Whyzit

I was so thankful yesterday for my third person because my DH failed at being able to fully help me. I bent over to pick something up and kept going until my face hit the laminate floor knocking my front tooth completely out and making a cut in my eyebrow where my glasses hit. I asked DH to give me a wash cloth and gauss bandage to stop the bleeding. He gave me a bandaid and cloth. Still on the floor because I was too shaken to get up, I asked DH to bring me a bag of frozen corn or peas and another cloth so I could hold it on my face to prevent swelling. He came back with a handful of blueberries he removed from a frozen package and wrapped them in a washcloth. Needless to say, the blueberries scattered on the floor as he handed me the washcloth.

The next challenge was getting off the floor. I had DH bring my garden stool to me so I could lean on it and then leverage myself up. It worked. You may say why didn’t I call 911. I knew they would take me to the hospital and  it would take all day and DH couldn’t come with me. So, we called DIL who took us to emergy-care where my eyebrow was glued together and I was evaluated for concussion, etc. while DH and DIL waited in the car.  we were back home in an hour and a half.

This morning I am “toothless Annie” evaluating yesterday. It worked out well......this time. I see the dentist on Monday, probably will get an implant. 

I learned I can’t count on DH for much. Being his lifeline is becoming too challenging for this 79 year old gal. I need to add more people to my lifeline.

Gods blessings on you..

Crushed

When traveling, like Blanche DuBois "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."

 Once in Kruger  a young Zulu girl brought DW home when she wandered.  (all the bungalows looked alike) I was looking in the other direction but  she heard me calling DWs name.  The little girl asked DW if she wanted to go home and DW said yes.   So she brought DW home .   Countless ladies checked toilets for her. Restaurants were wonderful.  Once our flight was switched to another plane and the Captain came to DW and another lady and said the wheelchairs were delayed but he was flying the new plane to San Francisco and  he would not leave without us. 

Sometimes the kindness made me cry.

 

Mint

We do all need a buddy.  Lills  think I’m going to start following your plan.  Will hook up with someone that if I don’t check in, they will check on me.  Sounds good.  When I worked another girl and I agreed that if one of us didn’t show up for work, without calling off, we would notify their family.  An incident occurred that made us do this.

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Whyzit

Victoria, Thank you for your response. I appreciate your suggestions. I have an hour long physical scheduled with my new PCP the first week in Feb. and will discuss that with her. I’ll also check into the medical alert device. That makes sense. I tend to think of myself as being capable of doing things I no longer have the physical stamina to handle. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I have been in denial about a number of things......your response is the wake up call I needed.    And no rhinestone, I’m not the glitzy type. Lol