another new issue...size really does seem to matter

M4family

I encountered my first issue where my smaller stature and my DH larger stature really hit home.  I can no longer control DH, the paranoid delusions have really taken hold the last two days.  What he thinks he is capable of doing and what he can actually do are so different, added by the fact that he thinks we are stealing his stuff so he constantly has to move it and check on it. 

DH was working in the garage and I was aware of it; it seemed to be relaxing to him.  All of a sudden I hear a loud thud and crying out.  He had decided to attempt to climb into the attic.  He caught his foot in a piece of furniture and bent him backwards over a ladder over our garage cement stairwell that leads to the basement.  Because of the his size and his lack of ability to help pull himself up, I held on to his hands making sure he didn't fall further, while my son ran next door to get the neighbor.  It took four of us to get him up and in the house.  Luckily he is just sore today.  In hind sight, it's fortunate he caught his foot otherwise I think he would have fallen all the way down the stairs and been hurt more.  We've adjusted medication in hopes that it may tame these delusions, fingers-crossed.  My question is focused to the wives who are caring for DH still at home.  How do you handle things when your smaller stature really can't compete with your spouse?

Mint

Your local rescue squad is a resource that will help you in these situations.

Marie58

M4family, I'm glad it turned out better than it could have. That must have been scary for all of you. 

My DH is 8 inches taller than me and outweighs me by about 60 lbs. That is one of the reasons I placed him in MC 4 1/2 months ago. He had one fall, which took 2 very strong people to get him up, and many close calls. I also had to help him get in bed or he'd fall on the floor or be half in and half out. I also had to help him get out of bed and often out of a chair, in and out of the shower, the car, etc. I felt like I was always pushing or pulling him, poor guy. It was just getting too hard.

star26

I had this issue when caring for my Dad (PWD) at home (I'm female). He fell at least once a month and could not get himself up and he weighed almost twice what I do. I called on neighbors sometimes which was okay but not ideal: it was embarrassing for my Dad, I hated inconveniencing others, and a couple times I called on someone that was not at all skilled and I was afraid my Dad would get hurt with their technique (and it's awkward to tell a friend "Nevermind, just go home" when my Dad is still on the floor). I did call 911 a couple times after assurances from my Dad's PT and nurses that this was the best decision so neither of us got hurt. Getting hurt yourself or even pinned under him is a real possibility. My Dad once fell on top of my sister when we were trying to help him up. 

Since my Dad's falls were frequent (and we both foolishly hate asking for help even from 911), I eventually found an effective technique that just the two of us could use to get him up. I got the idea from a youtube video made by a physical therapist: she demonstrated around a dozen ways that someone could get off the floor themselves. Most could not be applied to my Dad but a couple of them did show me how to use the strength and ability he still had to help him get up. I had to convince him to trust me and I positioned his body etc. since he couldn't comprehend the instructions.  

M4family

I appreciate you sharing your experiences.  Do you remember what you searched on youtube to find the techniques?  I would like to have that on deck in case it should happen again.  We tend to go long periods with good daily living and then whammy something happens, so I need to be prepared as best as I can.  Thank you.

M4family

Thank you.  I have started to look at MC places but when he's so young it is really depressing to think about moving DH. This is only the second event at home that has truly has had the impact on me that I will physically not be able to care for him sooner rather than later.

star26

I found it: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4ETgQD8QhZs&list=LL&index=19

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Dreamer Lost

Unfortunately in the early unsure stage of what Dh could or couldn't do took a lot of supervision on my part in order to keep him home and keep him safe (which is exhausting).  Much like having a toddler around, you must keep eyes on them at all times and tell them no, no, no when trying to do something you think its too unsafe for them.  In-home cameras help for awhile to keep eyes on them in another room, child proof locks on cabinets or tools or doors they shouldn't get into, door alarms to know when they go outside. Moving furniture or rugs that may cause them to trip, taking the knobs off of the stovetop, listening for their movements, for running water left on, etc.  Basically anything you would do to keep a 200# toddler safe.  

Medications are also important to deal with any depression, paranoia or aggression.  Eventually the size difference may be too much to overcome though when they are unable to stand or sit on their own, or if they are too uncooperative.